ESCAPISM

Brisbane: Queen Street Market

2012-03-02T19:32:00.001+08:00

My first trip to the city! Clarissa and I headed over to Brisbane's city on Wednesday (I have no school on Wednesdays). It's essentially the Brisbane version of Orchard Road, full of skyscrapers and shopping streets. And we also had quite a bit of luck there – we discovered the Queen Street Market. It's a street market that takes place every Wednesday, right in the heart of the city where they have cheap and fresh produce. I love going to such places. Food galore!

Haven't done much shopping (for clothes I mean) but so far, my favourite Aussie brands are Valleygirl and Supre. Decent affordable togs, especially their discounted racks! I wish I had all the money in the world so I don't always have to think twice about buying stuff. When you live alone abroad as a student, your budget-auntie-mode is automatically unleashed whenever you shop. It's a repeated process of squealing in delight, followed by checking of price tags and then putting the item back down wistfully. :(

King George Square.

Actually this picture looks like Singapore... except that there is a huge group of angmoh kids.

Asian food cravings. I miss Japanese food like crazy idk why. But there are sushi stands everywhere in Brisbane. Prices average around AUD$2.50 per piece of sushi.

Caved in and bought the ebi tempura sushi. I REALLY MISS JAPANESE FOOD.

Street buskers.

In front of the Queen Street Market. The weather was horrible. In general, Australian summers are way hotter than Singapore. You feel like you're being baked alive each time you step out. I have turned 2 shades darker already.

These are considered cheap especially when you compare to prices at typical supermarkets.

How prettyyyyy! This picture is now my desktop wallpaper.

Biggest cabbage ever.

Random lady who gamely posed for me. I like how friendly and polite Australians are.

Ginger beer! Nobody goes to Australia and not try ginger beer.

Mandatory ginger beer shot lol.

Asian food cravings again. We had phad thai this time round from an Asian noodle shop. AUD$7.95 for one tiny box. Sad to say, the noodles were overly salty and bad. Tasted like mediocre fried kway tiao :(

But I miss Asian food so much that I still finished every bit of it. I really want a good bowl of hot steaming Chinese soup and rice. Plus bak kut teh and chawanmushi.

WHY IS EATING OUT SO EXPENSIVE PFFT.

Snippets of college life through the iPhone

2012-02-28T10:20:00.003+08:00

Washing our clothes for the first time. AUD$2 per wash.

Four of us did our washing together to save money. I have no idea how four girls can possibly accumulate this amount of dirty clothes in one week.

Learning how to play daidi last night. Lololol. Amanda drew up this daidi guide for me.

Anna's mini birthday celebration last night. This is the only photo not from the iPhone. We all look damn tired. D:

I don't know why they couldn't put Catherine instead. But anyway I thought it was really nice to wake up to a message scrawled on the whiteboard outside my door. :) About being "the peer pressured one"... it's actually quite a funny story. I was at the gym last week running on the treadmill. I was about to give up and stop when an elderly man stepped onto the treadmill beside mine. He was pretty fit so I felt pressured to continue running hahaha. And I really did continue. -___-

What I usually have for breakfast every morning. Honestly the food in college is fine, much better than I expected.

Lunch/dinner. Food is served cafeteria style; you take whatever you want. I was mad happy when I saw white rice one night! Hahaha so deprived of Asian food. I MISS RICE.

What you get in a packed lunch. We usually order a packed lunch on days we can't get back to college in time to eat.

----------

I am meeting Clarissa tomorrow to hit the city! Totally looking forward to shopping/sightseeing :D But gotta budget my spending... Just bought a printer on Saturday and even paper here is expensive (AUD$4 per pack was the cheapest I could find). Le sigh.

Anyway it's really strange how things turn out sometimes. I was classmates with Clarissa in lower secondary and we never kept in contact after secondary school. In fact, not once did we bump into each other during our poly days... And yet we met each other in another continent instead.

Friendships are exceptionally important when you're alone in a foreign land. Familiar faces mean a lot. I'm honestly super thankful that most of the Asians in IH are really nice and friendly. I don't know anyone else here apart from Clarissa and the college peeps so they're all like very important to me.

Okay I'm gonna go for my lecture in a few more minutes. Till the next post.

Random thoughts

2012-02-26T22:06:00.000+08:00

Orientation week is finally over. I have discovered how prudish I really am and how awful I am at ball games lol. No seriously, is it wrong for me to get easily shocked about how open minded caucasians can be? Stripping till you're naked in front of everyone just for games... Group spooning all the time... is it wrong if I'm surprised by almost everything? All these wouldn't even be heard of or legal in SG schools.

There really is a massive difference between staying outside in a rented apartment with Asian friends and staying inside college where the majority are angmohs. Outside, you lead your own life and generally hang out with your own people (i.e. Asians). However at colleges, you really see the "real deal", experiencing or seeing first hand their way of life.

I've gotten used to their partying habits. Every single night for the past 7 days, there has been drinking and/or parties going on. Sometimes it's so difficult to fall asleep because of all the noise they make. I honestly have nothing against partying or drinking. Drinking is perfectly alright, but have the sense to know when to stop. I just cannot understand how some people persist in drinking till they're dead drunk and completely wasted.

I'm probably considered a loser in this place. I skipped every single party and every single drinking session. But I don't regret anything. I don't feel like I'm missing out on life. Not yet at least.

Takes a whole lot of self-discipline and self-control not to get caught up in all that madness.

Settling into college life

2012-02-23T13:20:00.005+08:00

Today is my fifth day here and life has improved a little. For starters, I have finally stopped crying for 2 days. I guess praying does help a great deal. :)

Australians are really friendly people... seriously. But the problem is that they're not all that keen on making friends with you. It's always just small talk and it gets tiring after awhile. Most of the time, they don't bother to initiate any conversations with you. We have to start talking to them and even then, it's general basic small talk. After 5 days, I realize the Asians here are the ones who are much friendlier and are willing to talk to you properly. Well, the minority has to stick together to look out for each other.

In fact, I am truly thankful that I have found a few Singaporean/Malaysian friends in college. It feels kinda heartwarming to speak with 'lahs' and 'lors' when we're alone. The Malaysian girl (Lin) who lives opposite my room here has been mad nice. Cannot emphasize enough how grateful I am to have her on the same floor!

This is Lin.

Awesome people living on my floor. Carmen (SG), me and Lin.

Yesterday was probably the best day so far. No awkward shit happened. AT LAST. I've never stepped so far out of my comfort zone in my life. Prayer does wonders for the soul. It calms you down.

Anyway if there's one thing I've learnt about Aussie culture so far, it's that beer and partying are an essential part of life. It's absolutely crazy how much they party. Ever since I arrived on Sunday, the college people have been partying every single night. In fact, last night the whole college went bar-hopping together outside campus.

I've been skipping ALL the parties because I just don't like it. Good social opportunities... but it's so uncomfortable to put myself through all that shit. I'm probably seen as some sort of loser here but I don't care. Partying isn't my thing, period.

Anyway more pictures from the iphone. Not practical lugging the heavy camera around so I was randomly snapping away with the iphone yesterday. Finally, my first day getting out of campus! Oh and I'm now sunburnt -___- The Australian sun is worse than SG's.

College trip to South Bank via Citycat (some sort of river bus). I didn't even know you can come to school this way.

Riverside apartments.

More buildings.

As hot as it was, the sky was a brilliant gorgeous shade of blue.

South Bank.

Instead of the black crows in SG, here we have these white birds everywhere. And this long-beak thing. I have no idea what they're called. Speaking of birds, I found a turkey wandering around campus yesterday. A TURKEY. HOW WEIRD IS THIS!

Abrupt end of pictures from South Bank. We didn't go very far in.

Bicyles for rent outside Toowong Village during a short trip there this morning with Lin, WY and Ivy, a friend I just made today. So I've finally discovered why all the foreign students love Kmart, the Aussie version of Carrefour/Metro. It's the one place in Australia where everything is cheap. I bought a pair of denim shorts for AUD$10!

But still, apart from Kmart, generally things here are really ridiculously expensive. I haven't been to the city yet so I don't know how the prices are over there.

P.S. WISH I BROUGHT MORE CLOTHES! I only brought one pathetic pair of denim shorts from SG because I wrongly assumed people here would mostly wear jeans. The standard attire here in fact, are tanks and denim shorts since the weather is so hot. Dang.

Praying.

2012-02-19T19:44:00.000+08:00

Day 1 is officially over and I've been a complete wreck so far. You know, I didn't even cry at the airport. Honestly I don't know what I was expecting coming here... but I broke down at least 5 times today in my own room. Sudden short bouts of tears. Even the smallest things cause tears to well up within seconds.

The fear and everything else kicked in when I checked in at the college. Caucasians everywhere and not a single Asian in sight. Huge culture shock. Perhaps I was expecting more Asians than I saw. I went for lunch at the dining hall ALONE. Attempted conversation on my own initiative for the first time in my life. Went right up to the only Asians in the hall and asked boldly if I could join them for lunch. They turned out to be a pair of Taiwanese sisters who'd been studying in Australia for the past 6 years.

Everyone here speaks with an accent so strong it's scary. Sometimes I can't catch what they're saying. I miss hearing Singaporeans and their crudeness. No, really. I miss it.

Another thing that shocked me – the toilets and showers are unisex. Both guys and girls just use it together. Whut.

So far the only saving grace is that there's a nice Malaysian girl staying on my floor (opposite my room in fact). She studied in Brisbane last year too but thankfully her accent isn't strong. It reminds me of the familiarity of home.

When my mom called me, I broke down again. I just feel really... lonely and sad. Actually right now while I'm typing this, everyone else just left the college for some drinking event outside campus. I don't want to feel shittier than I already feel now so I decided to hide in my room instead :(

I hope and pray tomorrow will be a better day with lesser tears. I started praying to God today. It's disgusting how some people seek God only when they are scared shitless. Yes I am one of these people now. I haven't prayed or gone to church in years. Yet today, I broke down so many times and each time, I begged God to help me stay strong.

A whole new level of fear.

2012-02-16T23:59:00.001+08:00

Photo credited to Tumblr

If I could, I would take a dose of faith, courage and strength. Oh god, I'm suffering from a serious case of pre-departure anxiety. All kinds of worries in my head right now. For the first time, I am truly frightened. :/

What if I can't fit in? What if I don't make any friends? What if I get bullied and/or ostracized? What if nobody wants to partner me for school projects? What if my college dorm mates hate me? OMG. WHY DO I HAVE TO GO ABROAD.

Holy shit. Right now I'd like nothing more than to remain in Singapore. Why did I decide to go overseas. Courting my own death wtf.

Thaipusam at Little India

2012-02-09T01:19:00.003+08:00

Kathleen and I met up for a photography trip to Little India on Tuesday and we managed to catch the Thaipusam procession! We were pretty clueless upon reaching Little India and decided to walk towards the direction of a Hindu temple. It's my first time doing a photowalk and I totally enjoyed it!

I'm a complete amateur when it comes to photography. Rather ashamed to admit I've only been shooting mostly in P so far – which is really stupid because what's the point of buying a DSLR and only using the P mode when you can easily do the same with a compact digital camera.

SO I FINALLY SHOT IN FULL MANUAL ON TUESDAY.

Manual is really tricky but I'm so glad I finally started learning how to deal with ISOs and shutter speeds. I'm still lost about apertures though. My pictures turned out a tad disappointing – so grainy!!! And some turned out overexposed. I think I might have set my ISO too high. But nevermind, there's always a first time.

Photowalk khaki. We shot random stuff en route to finding the procession/temple.

We kind of expected way more people seeing it was Thaipusam but the crowds were surprisingly manageable. Maybe because it's not a public holiday.

Spotted the procession within 10-15 minutes of walking. On an unrelated note, I have a mad urge to photoshop the bird in the sky away (see above picture). It looks like an annoying speck of dirt on my screen -__-

Extracted from wikipedia:

Thaipusam is a Hindu festival celebrated mostly by the Tamil community on the full moon in the Tamil month of Thai (January/February)... The Kavadi itself is a physical burden through which the devotees implore for help from the God Murugan. Generally, Hindus take a vow to offer a kavadi to idol for the purpose of tiding over or averting a great calamity.

On the day of the festival, devotees will shave their heads and undertake a pilgrimage along a set route while engaging in various acts of devotion, notably carrying various types of kavadi (burdens). At its simplest this may entail carrying a pot of milk, but mortification of the flesh by piercing the skin, tongue or cheeks with vel skewers is also common.

Guy beside me offered us his snack.

Chatted with this friendly elderly Indian man while waiting for the procession to reach us. Turns out that he was one of the Kavadi-bearers the previous night! Was in total awe when I heard that and suddenly noticed the small "holes" in his cheeks. He shared with us how each Kavadi-bearing devotee had to walk 4km from a temple in Little India to another temple in River Valley.

Apparently the greater the pain, the more merit you earn with God.

I cannot imagine the amount of pain each of them goes through. We saw someone else pulling some sort of "bullock cart" attached to his body. Very impressive, but we didn't manage to take any pictures of him.

There were plenty of beautifully decorated Kavadis, from simple ones (above) to extremely flamboyant ones (look at the tiger stripes below).

All the devotees had their family/friends walking along with them. While some groups were painfully silent, other groups were really loud and enthusiastic. I loved it when they spontaneously stopped and happily burst into song and dance midway.

According to wikipedia again, the tongue/cheek piercings prevents the devotee from speaking and provides "great power of endurance".

Myriad of bright colours.

Last picture here. I actually took 243 pictures and filtered them down to 147. Someone once told me you should continuously shoot instead of always stopping to check-view-delete, because you never know what you're going to end up with. Sometimes it looks better on the computer than on the tiny camera screen. And the general logic is the more photos you have, the higher the odds of finding good shots among them.

The rest of the pictures can be viewed at my Flickr account.
CLICK HERE.

"Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way you deal with it is what makes the difference."

2012-02-06T16:15:00.001+08:00

Caught up with the secondary school bff at Sentosa last week. :) Never seen the Siloso beach this empty before but I loved how serene and quiet it was. Chilled at a beachside cafe to take refuge from the rain and later on, we were the only jokers who soaked in the water when the rain stopped.

Sometimes, I wish we can rewind time and go back to the good ol' secondary school days. Life was way easier and simpler back then. Everyone's all grown up now and I'm still not used to it. We'll be officially adults come the later part of 2012. :O

Looking forward to our photography trip tomorrow! Both of us are amateurs so thankfully nothing to be embarrassed about hehe.

In other news, 12 more days till I disappear. There appears to be some sort of complication because of the awkward timing I'm landing – 12.50 AM Brisbane time. I can't check into my college room till 9AM and the school is insistent on picking me up once I land... can't change the pickup timings why so inflexible. D: I don't want to hang around alone outside my college in the middle of the night till the next morning. So I'll be sleeping at a motel near the university before heading to school myself the next day.

Hmm I've never been very adventurous or been overseas alone in my life. This will definitely be an interesting start. In all honesty, I'm utterly terrified yet looking forward to it a little. Fingers (and toes) crossed hoping for the best!

"A bargain is something you can't use at a price you can't resist."

2012-02-06T15:41:00.000+08:00

Hahaha I love the quote above. SO TRUE.

Anyway, I went out with my mom over the weekend and came home way poorer. Bought something I never expected – combat boots!!! This is so unlike me but oh well. Originally priced at S$229 but I bought 'em at S$79.90. Good deal whaaaat. Trying to convince my pocket that it's worth the money spent.

Been lemming for combat boots since I saw this. Impractical in SG though.

Passion versus Practicality

2012-01-30T15:00:00.001+08:00

Last night, I chanced upon a heartfelt post written by a local blogger on why she quit her well-paying prestigious banking job to pursue her passion. I say heartfelt because I can tell it wasn't an easy decision for her to make and also, it hit so close to home. At this age, I've started to worry about my future. What career path am I going to pursue? Am I going to be able to earn enough to buy a house, support my parents, etc?

This is when you start questioning passion/interest versus practicality. Passion doesn't always earn you good money. You can't have everything your way in life; there are bound to be sacrifices. Do I go for a boring desk job that I know I'll hate – but provides stability and a decent income, or do I go for passion and be paid peanuts for what I do?

When you're young, you have all the time in the world to dream big dreams and habour ambitious hopes. It used to be so easy to say, "What's the point of doing something you hate? Life is short. Do what you want, go for your dreams."

You grow older and realize it isn't always so straightforward. Eventually you're going to start a family and you have to stop thinking about yourself. Can passion put your kids through university? Can passion put food on the table? Can passion pay off your housing loan? Can passion give you a comfortable life?

How I wish I can confidently say a resounding yes.

All these questions are why some people choose to forgo their interest and opt for a stable job. When I was younger, I always thought these people were cowards who lacked determination and drive. Now that I'm older, I can see why they chose that path, however unhappy they might be with it. Practicality – it kills all dreams.

Sure, some are fortunate enough to earn a comfortable living doing what they love but let's be honest, how many of us can be that lucky?

I'm still at a crossroad where I cannot decide what career path to take when I graduate from university. Time is running out (2 years to be precise). If I'm going to take a huge risk by pursuing passion, I have to do it while I'm still young, while I still can afford to. Although I absolutely dread the thought of myself stuck behind a pathetic desk behind a computer being a slave to emails and fucked up bosses for the rest of my life... I'm afraid that is eventually what I will have to do if passion doesn't pay my bills.

#ihategrowingup

Universal Studios

2012-01-29T21:46:00.003+08:00

Headed down to USS last week where we took the highly anticipated Transformers ride. All three of us were amazed by just how good it was and we queued up twice for it. In fact, I reckon that ride alone was probably worth our 68 bucks. :D Everything inside was mad overpriced though.

We took loads of pictures. Uploading some of them here cos' I love the vintage tinge added to the pictures. I recently discovered this awesome editing tool online that allows you to add filters very similar to Instagram's (wider range than Instagram too). It's a straightforward idiot proof programme. The only issue I have is that it doesn't allow batch processing.

Mandatory touristy shot with the famous globe.

Pretending to be sitting at a chic New York cafe by the street.

So pretty and dreamy.

Imagine how cool it would be to live in that apartment above.

Had the shock of my life when I first saw her in a tudung. After getting used to it, I realized she really resembles those rich and beautiful Middle Eastern ladies.

Charlie Chaplin.

Betty Boop.

It's almost February. Only 20 more days before I leave. Trying my best to spend time with both family and friends while I still can...

CNY 2012

2012-01-28T02:34:00.007+08:00

CNY is essentially the best excuse to overindulge on good food. Everything from pineapple tarts and kueh bangkit to kong ba pau to glutinous rice! All you do is eat, eat and eat some more. The angbaos aren't the key highlight (they're all in ringgit anyway -.-) for me.

On another note, I also wish I was closer to my relatives and cousins because it really is painful to sit there in silence trying to think of what to say to each other while our parents happily chat away.

SUNDAY: CHU XI

Drove back to Batu Pahat with the family early in the morning and first thing we did was to grab breakfast at my dad's favourite bak kut teh place. Not even CNY yet and we were already stuffing our faces with awesome food. I love it. Definitely calorie-worthy!

Ridiculously small cup of tea. One mouthful and it's gone.

Best bak kut teh ever. Can't find this standard in Singapore.

Wine coloured nails for the new year.

CNY eve's reunion dinner at night with part of dad's side.

Receiving angbaos from Cai Shen Ye. HUAT AH!

Malaysian equivalent of 4D/Toto?

Fake birdnest. Tasted good though.

Retreated to my dad's place for the night and just before midnight, my brother and I went outside to watch fireworks. One of the perks of spending CNY in Malaysia is that people always release fireworks every year without fail. You don't even have to buy your own. Just stand at your gate and watch for free. There'll definitely be someone living nearby who bought some.

And these people don't buy cheapo lame sparklers. They really spend on massive fireworks!!

MONDAY: CHU YI

Woke up to a fabulous home-cooked lunch spread. :D

Our 叔叔's early birthday celebration.

Favourite uncle.

Love my brother's pants. One of my aunts saw his folded hem and asked whether it was because he was scared it would rain. HAHAHAHA.

Dinner with our dad's full side this time round.

The mandatory yusheng again.

This is the only picture we took as a family and I had to close my eyes -__-

Genius overachieving cousins whom my brothers and I can never match up to (academically).

TUESDAY: CHU ER

One of my aunts finally came home this year. There was this massive misunderstanding between my grandma and her which resulted in her family not coming home for the past 3 years. During those years, we had to be extra careful when mentioning her name in case my grandma flared up. She mustered up the courage to return this year and all went well miraculously. Thank god.

Reunion lunch with mom's side.

Rare family photo where everyone is present.

Grandkids.

-----

Till next year's CNY in Malaysia. Hopefully I'd be more sociable and find it easier to strike up conversations with my cousins by then. My new year resolution is actually to be more outspoken and less socially awkward.

Project Chinatown

2012-01-19T01:01:00.005+08:00

Daresay I've been making full use of my newfound freedom nowadays. Very contented with my life at the moment. :) All good things will come to an end eventually. I'll enjoy everything while I still can. Yesterday, I made a last-minute trip to Chinatown with an old friend who painstakingly braved the heat and crowds with me. Thank you! :)

Air-conditioned respite from the heat. Lunch at a quirky little cafe/music shop along Temple Street.

Reading other people's wishes for the lunar new year.

Embarked on "Project Chinatown" – a self initiated simple 1-day shoot. Decided I needed to get used to handling cameras again and what better theme than CNY. The following are footage stills which I shot. Switched off the "stabilizer" function because it always causes my stinky camera to overheat. Loads of shaky shots as a result (no tripod either).

I learnt something very important recently during a shoot for S, an FSV friend – fancy schmancy equipment are not necessary if you have a good story to tell. I have neither (#fml) but still I hope the edited clip turns out decent. In fact, I was inspired to start shooting again because of S's project. His DOP was one heck of a brilliant kid who really put me to shame.

Life's been good and thank god for that. I hope this positive mindset continues. :)

Where boys become men

2012-01-14T00:53:00.002+08:00

On Thursday night, I accompanied an old secondary school friend to his Alpha OCS social night and at the end of it, I walked away with a whole new level of respect for officer cadets.

These boys behaved like perfect gentlemen – their manners and social etiquette honestly took me by surprise. Never in my life have I been treated so well before. I feel that Eddie has matured so much after enlisting/posted to OCS. Last night, he made sure I was never alone or left out, introduced me to his buddies, checked whether I needed food or drinks every now and then, opened doors for me, etc. WAH. ULTIMATE GENTLEMAN.

Of course I do like being independent and not having to rely on guys to do all these small little things. But it's also really nice to be treated like a real girl once in a while. :)

I went to the social night with zero expectations, assuming it was just a casual dinner event but I was shocked by the amount of effort the boys put in to make sure their partners were well taken care of amongst other things. They took it very seriously man.

When the boys toasted to their Sirs, they all recited the officers' creed loudly with enthusiasm and pride. Was quite inspired for that few seconds haha! Like I can really feel their sincerity and passion.

In general, I like guys who take NS seriously and not treat it like a waste of time or a huge joke. Guys who actually have an aim in NS and not hope to chao keng for 2 years and fuck off. Easy for me to say since I'm a girl but look, if you have no choice but to serve this mandatory 2 years, might as well do the best you can and spend the time fruitfully. Your attitude towards NS also speaks a ton about your attitude in life. Are you going to waste your life away just because you're forced to do something you don't like and complain life isn't fair or are you going to make the best out of the situation you're thrown in? Life is never going to be fair. You either face what comes your way and work to be the best you can be or pity yourself and never get ahead.

Happiest moment of the new year

2012-01-09T23:03:00.003+08:00

Parked vertical without a single hitch for the first time. And only 10 demerit points!
Beyond relieved. :D Thank god.

Second happy news – this is finally my last week of work!

Travelogue: Shanghai

2012-01-08T18:04:00.013+08:00

Missing the cold in Shanghai already. My dream job would be traveling around the world. But in order to do that, you need the ka-ching first.

Our awesome hotel in Shanghai – Executive Suites Xuhui Shanghai. My dad picked this hotel after a colleague's recommendation or something. Definitely worth it (around SGD60-70 per night) and the location is fantastic. It was like 20 metres away from the Shanghai metro entrance no kidding.

View from our room. Shanghai is very similar to Singapore – modern fast paced city full of skyscrapers.

Breakfast buffet. Decent spread but not worth the moolah. You can get cheaper and better food elsewhere.

We look like we didn't change from the previous day but we really did (underneath)! My brother only had one winter jacket. As for me, I actually brought another pretty military-esque coat from Zara. BUT IT WASN'T THICK ENOUGH. Shivered like crap so I stuck to my trusty marshmallow looking jacket.

First Stop: Yuyuan Garden (豫园)

Outside the train station.

Pictures taken en route to Yuyuan.

One of the coolest things I saw in Shanghai – these two shopkeepers were playing table tennis without a table! My goodness. My youngest brother stood there dumbfounded. The ball didn't even drop once in the 2 minutes we were there watching.

One of the things I love about China (Beijing and Shanghai at least) – wonderful mix of Chinese style buildings and modern structures.

Finally at Yuyuan. Starbucks was so out of place -.-

The Kiasu Singaporean: Since so many people queuing up, must go kaypoh also right.

We traced the queue to this XLB takeaway counter. They have a proper restaurant upstairs but the waiting time was at least an hour so we decided to queue for XLBs instead.

LO AND BEHOLD. THE BEST XIAO LONG BAOS I'VE EVER HAD IN MY LIFE.

Felt like I died and went to XLB heaven. These XLBs put Ding Tai Fung to shame.

Can you see the generous filling and the zhap inside?! Ahhhhh the joy of sharing piping hot XLBs in the cold. :D About 30+ yuan per box (approx SGD6-7).

Nothing else much but touristy items so we randomly walked out to the nearby streets.

Shanghainese homes.

The people living here were mad fierce. I tried to take pictures of them going about their daily lives (there was a kid getting a haircut at the makeshift street barber) but was scolded and yelled at. I freaked out and stopped snapping. :O

Second Stop: Xin Tian Di (新天地)

Look, we were only 810 metres away from Sun Yat Sen's house.

Fell in love with this quaint little place. Tucked away somewhere in Xin Tian Di are these cobbled streets and London-esque shops and cafes.

Third Stop: The Bund (外滩)

Unfortunately this was the only picture I took of the place. The city's temperature shot down at night and my gloved hands were far too frozen to snap anything else. The Bund is actually the waterfront area in central Shanghai, basically the Shanghainese version of the Singapore River.

Other than my dad, the rest of us were not entirely impressed. Probably because we were shivering too much to appreciate the view properly D:

Fourth Stop: Nanjing Road (南京路)

About a 10-minute walk away from The Bund lies the famed Nanjing Road. Apparently it is one of the busiest (and longest) shopping streets in the world. Choke full of shopping centres and luxury brands.

Hungry stomachs ain't good for doing any exploring or sightseeing. All of us were starving (we skipped lunch) and shivering so we popped into the first hotel restaurant we saw along Nanjing Road.

In the process of defrosting ourselves.

Peking duck!

Yummy duck broth to warm your insides :D

We expected this meal to be pricey since it was a hotel restaurant at the famous Nanjing Road. But it was really affordable and even cheaper than zhi char in Singapore! Around 220+ yuan (approx SGD45) for the 5 of us. Worth every penny and I would recommend the restaurant if I could but I can't remember the name.

Meters/bonwe: Our one and only stop after dinner before calling it a day.

Of all the shops we walked past on Nanjing Road, I forced my whole family to go into this place heh. Main reason – during my trip to Anhui 2 years back, my friends and I found all sorts of cheap discounted clothing at their Meters/bonwe. This Nanjing outlet had a storewide discount too but this time, I couldn't find anything nice except for a grey sweater dress D:

Instead, my brother and dad walked out happily having spent enough to get a membership card. -_-

Convenience store beside our hotel. They have the strangest snacks.

Abrupt end to the first day at Shanghai. Second day's happenings will be up soon. Hmm I feel the strange need to clearly document my (limited) travels in detail so that I can always read about them in future. Love love love traveling abroad. :D

{EDITED}

Day 2: The last of Shanghai

We only had a few hours to spare before taking the 5-hour train ride back to Beijing and another 6-hour flight back to Singapore. So we hit Nanjing Road again after breakfast in the hopes of getting some decent buys.

Literally 人山人海.

We visited this store called ME&CITY and I fell in love with the four stories of clothes. Only problem was, prices were on the high side. Later on I read that it's a homegrown Shanghainese brand modeled after international high-end street labels.

Bought a casual jacket on sale (original price 599 yuan) for 419 yuan – SGD86. The knitted top was priced at 399 yuan (approx SGD82). With prices averaging around 500 yuan, things are really not cheap. In fact, exorbitant for a local made-in-China brand! The only reason I caved in was because I barely bought anything in Shanghai and I didn't want to go home empty handed. D:

I wonder how the average Shanghainese workers afford these.

On another note, you can get away with most things in China if you have money. We were desperately trying to get a cab from the Beijing railway station to the Beijing Airport. The queue was insanely long with at least 50 people in front of us and we had a flight to catch! These 2 sneaky men approached us and offered to drive us to the airport for 500 yuan (2 cars). They weren't cab drivers, just ordinary men with their own cars who knew we were desperate stranded foreigners. They seemed extremely dodgy and unreliable but hey, when you're desperate, anything goes.

Average cab fare for that distance would be around 120 yuan at most and these men were charging us 250 yuan per car. Bargained down to 200 yuan per car and off we went. They drove at crazy speeds man. At some stretches, my driver drove at more than twice the speed limit!!! :O

Thank god we arrived at the airport safe and sound, just in time to check in.

Travelogue: Beijing in 17 hours

2012-01-02T23:16:00.004+08:00

The 3-day trip to Beijing and Shanghai was a mad whirlwind. I spent less than 24 hours in Beijing (17 hours to be exact) before heading to Shanghai. Landed at 1AM on Thursday morning (29/11) and the only place left open in the Beijing airport for me to grab dinner was KFC. -.-

Cabbed to the hotel after that and I was shocked at the state of the hotel room. I'm no luxury traveller but honestly, the hotel room was a disaster. The toilet bowl wasn't functioning properly and there was this feces stench permeating the entire room. :O

That's the whole problem with tour agencies. They always book the "best deals" for you and that translates into cheap dodgy hotels. Plus they always bring you to useless places to cheat you into spending money unnecessarily. Thank goodness the tour was over and done with by the time I joined my family in Beijing.

So anyway after catching a few hours of sleep, we trudged downstairs to the hotel cafe for breakfast only to find out they already stopped serving breakfast! AT 9.30 AM IN THE MORNING. And we already paid for it beforehand. #FOL

Nevermind, we went outside and guess what. The only proper place open for breakfast in the nearby area was KFC. That's 2 KFC meals in the span of 8 hours. -_- Well at least the food's different from Singapore's KFC.

Beef with rice.

Deep fried prawn "hats" – no kidding they call it 新美帽虾 on the menu.

Loved the cold weather (-5 to 0 degrees) in Beijing initially and I kept breathing out through my mouth just so I could see steam coming out from my mouth HAHAHA. #cheapthrill

The Beijing subway is just as crowded as Singapore's.

First stop of the day: Beijing Zoo (北京动物园)

My dad insisted on seeing some pandas so he paid for us to go into the zoo JUST TO SEE PANDAS. He didn't allow any of us to explore the zoo any further because we were in a rush. -_-

Yup we came all the way to see these lazy fluffy giant cushions snoozing away. These pandas really know how to enjoy life.

At this point, my whole face was numb with cold and my toes were frozen. -_-

Aftermath of snow collected on street plants.

Snow on the streets ain't always pretty.

Second Stop: Silk Street Market (秀水街)

Essentially Beijing's version of Bangkok's Platinum Mall – about 7 stories of bargainable items, everything from fake designer goods to souvenirs to all sorts of random nonsense. BUT. The main difference are the prices. Platinum Mall is super cheap compared to Silk Street. I only managed to buy a fake Arsenal jersey set for my youngest bro. The shopkeeper demanded 380 yuan (SGD79) which I haggled to 150 yuan (SGD31). Still damn expensive for China standards no? FAKE ONE LEH!

The Chinese shopkeepers are terribly aggressive and they literally pull you aside to corner you into buying.

We only had 45 minutes to explore Silk Street because we had to catch a train to Shanghai later that day. I only managed to clear 2 levels :(

Third Stop: Beijing-Shanghai High Speed Railway (京沪高速铁路)

As you can see, it was only 5.20PM but the sky was already pitch black. Daylight doesn't last very long during winter.

This railway train was a pleasant surprise. Definitely did not expect it to be this cosy and clean. Plus point: It has 3 times more legroom than Jetstar planes! The seats are reclinable as well and because of the spacious legroom, you can recline it as much as you want. (Y) Another interesting point was the "canteen cabin" in the train.

Having dinner at the "canteen cabin".

Food wasn't cheap. The hot meal above cost around 45 yuan (SGD9.30). Good thing was the food tasted way better than it looked. My first proper Chinese meal in Beijing! I only had KFC prior to this and we skipped lunch due to time constraints.

Played about 2 hours of Monopoly Deal after eating. It was a 5-hour train ride to Shanghai.

That's all for the Beijing leg. I enjoyed my time in Shanghai tremendously and will blog about it soon. Oh and another thing, Beijing is incredibly polluted. Smokers every few metres on the streets and extremely congested roads. My mom thought it was "misty" in Beijing until I told her it was probably pollution lol.

The last of 2011

2012-01-01T23:55:00.002+08:00

Cheers to the new year and may 2012 bring an abundance of all things good! :)

Clearing backdated pictures from the last few days of 2011. The club had an early Christmas gathering at KT's place. I think the best part about such gatherings is the food. Nothing beats potluck dinners where people actually put in effort to prepare awesome food. (Y) We had the usual gift exchange and I'm really hoping this Christmas gathering becomes an annual club tradition.

Joke of the day – XK didn't have wrapping paper so he wrapped his gift with the deceased North Korean leader's face! :O

-----

On Christmas Day itself, I was actually prepared and happy to spend the whole day alone after a hectic (and bloody stressful) Saturday. But no, a couple of people decided it would be funny to break into my house unannounced. To check if I was at home, one of these jokers called my home under the pretense of speaking to my brother. Shortly after, I went downstairs and FOUND 5 KIDS SITTING QUIETLY ON MY SOFA SMILING BACK AT ME.

But okay lah, I was quite touched that they came all the way to my place to celebrate Christmas and to make sure I wasn't alone. However, I better start locking my doors and windows before real burglars break in. -.-

Very zi dong friends who started cooking lunch in the kitchen after I came downstairs lolll.

Nuah-ed for awhile before we popped over to the supermarket on a last minute whim to have steamboat for dinner. Nothing beats dining in the comfort of your own home. :D

In Gabriel's words, machiam tuan yuan fan! Sumptuous home-cooked meal prepared by the 2 main chefs (CQ and Gab). I can't cook for nuts unfortunately.

-----

Anyway, I made it to Beijing/Shanghai on Wednesday (28/11) after spending an entire Tuesday at ICA trying to get temporary travel documents. What a nightmare it was – running around from police station to police station to ICA while trying to get a visa and booking a plane ticket on Tuesday itself. But alas, not meant to be. I was more than ready to give up (and about to cry) when this awesome Malay auntie officer decided to do me an enormous favour. Thank god everything was settled in the end and I managed to pop over to China to join my family albeit only for 3 days.

Passport Mayhem

2011-12-25T12:11:00.003+08:00

I should be in Beijing now enjoying my Christmas but yours truly brilliantly misplaced her passport yesterday and missed the flight as a result. I'm actually more pissed about the wasted air ticket ($600+!!!) than the passport.

Have you ever been so angry that you just suddenly became really calm and zen? That's quite a contradictory statement but that happened to me yesterday. Furious to the point where I just became calm and resigned.

I woke up on a nice Saturday morning in a good mood. Took my time to pack my luggage. 2 hours before we were due to leave the house, I COULDN'T FIND MY BLOODY PASSPORT. I last used my passport on Thursday for a medical check-up at Raffles Medical.

Drove to my colleague's house in Bukit Batok to get the office key and then I checked my office table (at Macpherson which is the opposite end of the island wtf). Went to Raffles Medical in case I left it here and found out they don't work on Saturdays FML. Called ICA to ask if I could get temporary travel documents. Guess what – they don't work on Saturdays and public holiday eve either!!! *&^%

Then I called airport immigration. The dude on the line happily said, "I'm sorry you'll just have to reschedule your flight. We don't issue anything. Only ICA can help you and they reopen on Tuesday." NAISE.

In the midst of all that, the airline informed my dad departure time would be delayed for 3 hours. I WAS SO RELIEVED. Thought it was a miraculous stroke of luck. Ahhh turns out there is no such thing as a miracle. I went home and searched every nook and cranny in vain. The fucking passport just mysteriously vanished into thin air. #worstchristmas

My mom was fuming mad initially but after she calmed down, she became super duper sweet and told me to get temporary travel papers from ICA first thing on Tuesday morning. She told me she'd pay for my new air ticket to Beijing on Tuesday if I managed to get the paperwork done. I was already so frustrated and reading her text made me so touched that I teared.

Whatever it is, you must come. Don't give up. Since we will be there for quite many days, nothing much lost... Must come to China understand? ... Nevermind I will bear the cost. You are going to Australia soon. Most important we enjoy together. Such occasion is unexpected so it's ok. Just come. Love mom.

Oh man I really love my dear ol' mummy. We yell and fight with each other every other day but at the end of the day, she's still such an awesome mother. ♥

HL came to sleep over at my place last night to cheer me up. So incredibly thankful for that!! :') She brought face masks and bubble tea over for a girls night. We nuah-ed the whole night away chatting about random stuff and this morning, we woke up bright and early for macs brekkie. I really feel sooo much better now thanks babe. Really damn grateful to have friends like you seriously :') :')

Packaging is paramount.

2011-12-23T17:34:00.002+08:00

DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT A DESIGNER AND THE FOLLOWING ARE PERSONAL VIEWS FROM A CONSUMER'S PERSPECTIVE.

Too many people fail to see the enormous advantages of good packaging design. Everyone has their own views on this and some thinks it's a massive waste of money to invest in packaging. For the life of me, I cannot understand this logic. Don't give me the you-cannot-judge-a-book-by-its-cover-blah-blah nonsense.

I'll give you a straightforward scenario on one of the benefits of good design.

Let's assume I am at the supermarket buying chocolates and there are only 3 similar brands available. I have never tried any of these 3 brands. Naturally, I would pick the one that catches my attention first. Humans are wired to pay more attention to good-looking things.

If I have an eye-catching design that makes my chocolates stand out among all the products on display, half the battle is already won. The consumer will pick it up and take a look. If they like what the labels say, they'll probably purchase it if it's within their budget. If they like the chocolates, they'll become a loyal customer and generate continuous business for you. If they hate the taste, well at least they tried it.

Taste and quality of the product is the most important factor yes, but good packaging design is the key to getting consumers to even bother to TRY IT OUT in the first place.

And since we're on the topic of packaging… I need to say this – I honestly can't stand "cluttered" designs. Too many things / too much info squeezed all over the place. No breathing space.

This is what I mean by cluttered:

SO BLOODY MESSY.

Do you purposely buy clothes that look like crap? No. So why should it be any different for other type of products?

There are so many other ways to package milk.

As you probably can tell by now, I have a personal preference for clean simple designs that focus more on typography than images. I am one of those consumers that would purchase something on impulse just because it has awesome packaging. No harm trying new things what right.

How come kaya jars don't look this cool. So sleek, I like.

I'd totally buy this as generic gifts or for myself just because it's so pretty. You can tell a lot of effort went into this although it looks so simple – embossed fonts with gloss lamination.

Packet drinks need to evolve. Stop being so boring with standard vertical packets. Look at this! Simple and cute. Genius.

Ok I don't like this but it's creative. Guys would buy these without a second thought.

Okay end of post. Sorry I just had to nitpick on ugly packaging. Presentation is paramount. It shapes your entire brand. Unless you're telling me your brand's vision is to look cluttered, cheap and ugly.

An overdue tribute

2011-12-19T01:44:00.001+08:00

I've been meaning to write about this for the longest time but never got down to doing it. So here it is – a short tribute to the boyband I grew up listening to.

Dear Westlife,

I first got to know you way back in 1999 – I was eight. You were the first boyband I listened to. And then I ended up listening to your music for the next decade and beyond. Your songs were a big part of my childhood. I bought all your albums and watched all your music videos (even the cheesy ones). And back in primary school, I had all your faces (posters) plastered on my room wall.

To Shane, I wanted to marry you back then too. Yeah embarrassingly enough haha. I would melt whenever you started singing (plus I always thought you were the most good looking chap within the band – what with that deep brooding gaze you have).

Just 2 months ago in October, I attended my first music concert at the Indoor Stadium. Yes, it was your Gravity promotional tour. Watching my childhood idols live in Singapore was surreal. I can't thank you enough for covering your old hits in this concert. I nearly died of happiness when you guys burst into a surprising rendition of Swear it Again, Seasons in the Sun, My Love, Home, Flying without Wings and Uptown Girl. It would have been perfect if you covered Fool Again but hey, no complaints here. It was more than I expected and I'm so glad I went ahead to attend your last concert in Singapore before you guys disbanded.

It's been 12 wonderful years of listening to Westlife. Thank you so much for being a part of my childhood. I hope you'll always continue to make music, whether as solo or group artistes. And I'll always be here supporting you guys.

Love,
A very thankful fan

Celebratory Affairs

2011-12-10T01:19:00.004+08:00

My super awesome boss got me so much extravagant (read: expensive) stuff for Christmas that's making me feel like an undeserving prick. Firstly I've only been here 5 months and only hooked up a couple of new clients. Secondly I was a tad too cheapskate. My excuse is I didn't realize everyone here took Christmas gift exchanges this seriously and bought generic chocolates for all. So yes now I feel awfully guilty and extremely appreciative.

NEED TO REDEEM MYSELF.

Huge luggage bag from the boss – meant for my trip next year. :')

Assortment of presents I collected from everyone in the office.

WALAO SERIOUSLY HAVEN'T FELT THIS GUILTY IN A LONG WHILE. People get me nice thoughtful stuff and I give everyone possibly the most insincere crap on earth – chocolates. Facepalm.

Note to self: Must buy proper presents for all before I leave the company.

-----

Random birthday pictures from last month below. I didn't blog about it because it wasn't particularly memorable plus I didn't feel like celebrating at all this year. Generally I like things that are roughly planned and the birthday plan didn't materialize. So I was really disappointed and kinda annoyed and sad.

Abrupt end of entry. Off to crash in bed.

Funny how we take everything for granted until we realize we might just lose it all.

2011-12-06T06:00:00.004+08:00

It's 6.00 am and I am penning this down because my fever has finally subsided for the first time in 24 hours. I am finally perspiring – can't describe how nice it feels to be able to perspire. What began as a slight harmless fever on Saturday night turned into a full fledged nightmare 8 hours ago. My temperature was a raging 39.1 degrees last night and it only went down to 38.4 after going through hell.

The family doctor thought I might have contracted HFMD but it was a false alarm thank god. All seemed fine at the clinic. Then I reached home and hell started. My brain began hurting so badly and I was trembling in bed despite being clad in long track pants + thick hoodie. My mom sponged my face and neck for an hour and I was shaking the entire time.

My body was so heated that I was almost delirious. Kept having flashbacks of myself as a little kid (last time) vomiting uncontrollably in my old house.

Halfway through, I started puking for no reason. I vomited thrice – once all over my bedroom floor, once in my dustbin and once in my toilet bowl. All the medicine and antibiotics I took came out. My body began refusing any form of edible substance. Even drinking water caused me to puke.

I don't know how bulimic people puke. It is so painful and frightening to puke without control. After the vomiting, my fever got even higher since my body was rejecting everything.

My parents drove me to KTP hospital at 1AM but the waiting time was too long. So I ended up at some obscure 24-hr clinic in Yishun. Stupid doctor didn't help at all. All he said was, "Since you're throwing up everything, what I can do is write a letter for you. You can go to the hospital to put yourself on a drip otherwise you will get dehydrated."

Brilliant. Paid $84 for late-night consultation and this is all he could offer. Just brilliant.

So if I'm still puking my guts out by tonight, I'm supposed to get myself to the hospital. Fever aside, my throat has got ulcers all over it (no wonder it feels like it's burning). I need to drink tons of water to cool the throat but the problem is I'm regurgitating everything I consume – even water. -.-

Right now I'm sitting beside my toilet bowl in case I need to barf again. But I can't tell you how pleased I am to perspire. Bloody fever. I didn't sleep the entire night because every time I turn my body while lying down, my stomach feels like it's going through a roller-coaster. And that makes me want to vomit even more.

I've already lost 1kg in less than 24 hours.

Extremely grateful to my mom who kept helping me sponge my neck and face with cold water to bring down the fever. I can't remember the last time I was this sick.

[edit]

The fever's all gone and the vomiting has slowly ceased (thanks to a life-saving butt injection yesterday). And I've lost 2kg so far. Terribly painful way of losing weight.

I think I've listened to and watched the final video at least 50 times now.

2011-12-03T17:08:00.001+08:00

依然愛你 – Behind the Scenes Part 1

依然愛你 – Behind the Scenes Part 2

依然愛你 – Final Video

Brilliant work. Shot in one day no less.
Nothing but the utmost respect and admiration for Wongfu. (Y)

Rethinking my future career options. It has to have something to do with videography. But what exactly? Sports TV? Music videos? Commercials? Wedding videos? Studio shoots? The only thing I refuse to be a part of, are drama serials. #personalexperience #nightmare

To be your own boss and yet do something you enjoy – that's my ultimate goal in life. Alternatively, freelancing would be good too since I cannot accept the idea of staying at one job for too long.

So lost over my future; that's one of the reasons why I decided to go abroad. Hopefully I come back enlightened.

"It is a thousand times better to have common sense without education than to have education without common sense."

2011-11-26T02:15:00.003+08:00

I have a horrible temper and I definitely deserve to be scolded for being rude. BUT. I don't think I was entirely wrong just now. Thirty minutes ago, you yelled at N for not qualifying for a "good" school. There is nothing wrong with his PSLE results - 222. But no, it was too pathetic for you to handle. You said you were pleased with it yesterday. Liar.

You went berserk just now and wanted to transfer him from Express which he automatically qualified for, to the Normal Academic stream - just so he could enter a "good" school. So tell me, what the fuck is a "good" school? A school that concentrates solely on academic perfection?

You went on and yelled that he could only qualify for "stupid useless lousy schools like Orchid Park". Thanks man, I was from OPSS and I'm proud of it regardless of whatever people like you think.

During my time, it had the finest principal ever - Mr Low E K. I have never forgotten his constant encouragement and faith in me. He invited me into his office several times and asked me how I was doing in school and chatted with me about trainings. In my four years, I received more from OPSS than I can ever give back. It gave me the chance to go overseas twice, the chance to direct a Macbeth play involving 20 classmates, the chance to lead (as chairman and vice-captain), the chance to represent the school in wushu, the chance to join the nationwide debating championships, to chance to win best speaker and so much more.

Had I been in a "better" school, I probably wouldn't have had all these chances (as I would have to fight with "better" students). In a neighborhood school, there are plenty of opportunities hanging. You just need to know how to grab them properly.

It doesn't matter whether you're in an elite all-boys independent school or a chapalang neighborhood school like mine. Everyone takes the exact same government exam at the end of four years. You still have equal chances of ending up in the same university in the end - maybe even the same class or course.

So tell me now, what is the fucking point of transferring your son to NA in order to enter a "good" school when his results clearly more than qualify for Express? Neighborhood school not prestigious enough for you?

I've never understood why academic achievements were so important to you - it was above everything else in your eyes. I may be only 20, but I can assure you that academic excellence isn't everything in life. High IQ doesn't equate to good EQ. Exam results are not a measure of your worth. They don't make the person you will become. But no, you've never seen it that way. Always results above all else.

-----

Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught. – Oscar Wilde

Eggs Benedict

2011-11-17T22:22:00.003+08:00

Wild Honey - European Breakfast / Picture Credits: ME

I love eggs however they're cooked. This is my current favourite type of eggs. Nomnomnom they're so freaking yummy.

Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane.

2011-11-12T15:28:00.000+08:00

Picture credited to storyofbing.com

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” — Mark Twain

It'll be goodbye in 3 months and I'm terrified.

TEAM NP: Champions for the third year running

2011-11-05T14:15:00.004+08:00

29/10/2011 — Congratulations team! Heartening to see the juniors posting up messages on FB, saying they will step up to the challenge next year after the third-year peeps graduate. Passion, perseverance and hard work as a team. Like what Jiao Lian always says: 一定要有团结，团结才是力量。

Pre-competition the night before: the swanky new sports hall.

Didn't get to utilize my camera during the actual competition at all! :( Pictures below taken from both FB and my camera.

Back at loft where we bunked for the night. Look what we ordered for dinner to celebrate.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

20 x 14" PIZZAS + 70 CHICKEN WINGS!

Everyone ate till they felt like puking. Some of the boys ate like 14, 15 slices each?! That's just insane man. No more pizzas for the rest of the year tyvm.

Feeling kinda inspired by IVP really, watching everyone compete. I miss the tension, I miss the mad trainings, I miss the PT, I miss the aches, I miss everything. So that is why I've decided to go back after a 5-months hiatus from real proper training. 19th November, I'll be back!

Only on Saturdays unfortunately but better than nothing. In the meantime I think I better run a bit before I resume full fledged training.

In other news, I've finally begun the the countdown till my last day of work. 8 more weeks and freedom's mine to have again.

"Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless." — Bill Watterson

2011-10-27T22:53:00.003+08:00

Weekends pass way too fast. Saturday was spent sleeping most of the day away and waking up for good ol' crab at East Coast followed by ice cream. Nothing like comfort food for the weary soul.

Sunday was a tad more productive. My first flea booth at Scape to clear my clothes! Thank goodness HL came to help me out. I have so many clothes in the closet that are unworn. Sometimes I look at them in amazement and wonder why on earth I ever bought them in the first place.

-----

Backdated photos from a shoot last month. They turned out brilliant thank goodness. JEREMY'S A GENIUS PHOTOG.

Some official photos from the shoot:

Off to school tomorrow to help set up. I took leave for this! Can't wait for Saturday's arrival.

Life lessons from the boss.

2011-10-20T22:51:00.007+08:00

My boss likes to randomly share her snippets of wisdom with me. I don't necessarily agree with every point she makes but there are definitely some worth noting.

Life lesson #1
"Never marry someone who loves you less than you love him. Always marry someone who loves you more than you love him. That way he'll take care of you. Your life will be miserable if you love him more, because you will be stupid and desperate enough to do anything for him."

Life lesson #2
"I hate fat people who complain they are fat. It's very simple. If you want something bad enough in life, you will achieve it somehow. Fat people who complain about their weight are people who just don't want to be skinny bad enough. If you really want to be skinny, get up and run. Don't tell me no time. I always believe it's a matter of how badly you want something.

Nothing is given to you for free in life. If you want something, you have to work hard for it. You want to be a millionaire, you must be prepared to spend long hours working hard."

Life lesson #3
"You must know very clearly what you want in life. I knew what I wanted in life by the time I was 24. Now my next goal is to earn enough money to buy a big house with more than 6000 square feet before I turn 50."

I guess her own advice worked for her because not only is she successful in her career, she also managed to snag a good guy.

Husband: What do you want for dinner?
Boss: I don't know. Surprise me.
Husband: Walao what is that!
Boss: I also don't know. Surprise me la.
Husband: Okay.

I found the conversation awfully funny and endearing at the same time.

Most married couples I know (admittedly not many) go through a boring daily routine in life. All elements of romance and surprises long gone after donkey years of marriage.

#musingsonlife

How am I ever going to afford my own place?

2011-10-18T23:08:00.003+08:00

I consider myself lucky; I've never been rich but I've never been poor either. My parents have given me a fairly comfortable life - enough to eat, enough pocket money to get by, enough money to go for overseas school trips and what not. I've never been able to afford luxurious holidays or branded items or the latest gadgets. But at least my parents could afford to see me through to tertiary education and I never had to work part-time unless I personally wanted to. So technically, money woes have never really bothered me.

Until now.

With property prices rocketing to unimaginably sky-high prices, how am I ever gonna afford to get my own place? I'm not even considering private condos anymore (secretly always wanted to stay in one). My miserable peanut paycheck won't even earn me enough to ever buy a HDB flat. What happened to affordable public housing? Isn't that the whole point of HDB? To help people who cannot afford private housing to get a decent roof over their heads aka HDB flat?

5-room flats that were launched in a Tampines project earlier this year commanded a whopping $880k each. And sometime back, 5-room flats in Toa Payoh were up for approximately $720k.

This is beyond ridiculous. I'm sorry, nothing can justify spending that hefty amount on a tiny pigeon hole. That sort of price tag can easily get you a condo unit or even landed housing (in an ulu area).

You don't even have to do the math to know that you will probably spend the next 20 years of your miserable life paying off your damn housing loan. By the time you're out of debt, you'll be too tired (and too broke) to even think of upgrading. No private condos or swanky landed property dreams anymore. Because your next problem is figuring out how to save enough money for retirement while paying off your children's education loans. Nobody wants to end up old and penniless.

What is the point of living here - where the quality of life is supposedly better - if you have to spend half your life scrimping and saving and paying off debts and being unable to enjoy life?

And I haven't even talked about the COE prices yet.

#foreverbroke

So I finally completed my first ever 10km run.

2011-10-09T22:51:00.005+08:00

Felt so cheated when this was all Nike gave after crossing the finishing line. A KEYCHAIN. Seriously. Okay it's not entirely useless since it's actually a thumbdrive as well. But still.

I know running 10km is a piece of cake to many people because it's not exactly a very difficult distance to cover. But given that I haven't been training for eons, I nearly died running. I swear it felt like forever and the sole of my right shoe came off about 4km into the run.

When I was running, I told myself I'd never attempt such a crazy thing again. But now that it's over and done with, I think it's actually not too bad hehe. I STILL SURVIVED IN THE END RIGHT!

1:16:46

"The only way to do great work is to love what you do." - Steve Jobs

2011-10-06T22:35:00.001+08:00

8:12 - 8:55

"Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle."

12:32 - 12:56

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."

Happy Children's Day

2011-10-02T12:40:00.000+08:00

The last time I celebrated Children's Day was 8 years ago, back in primary school. How depressing to know I'm turning 20 soon.

-----

I want a running device that can track my distance, calories, timing etc. IT WILL MOTIVATE ME TO GET OFF MY LAZY BUTT AND RUN, REALLY! Running on the treadmill is depressing; the bloody scenery never changes. It feels like you're never moving forward.

My brother keeps telling me I'm such a noob because I can't even clock 10km. He refuses to pace me because he's training for 21km and I can't match his speed. THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT OF PACING RIGHT. So that I will eventually match up one day what! >:(

Endorphins

2011-09-28T23:03:00.002+08:00

I felt depressed all day for reasons I won't elaborate on here. Anyway I was so miserable that I left work promptly on time without a care and flew home to hit the gym. Completed 3.5km on the treadmill followed by 2 sets of weights before calling it a day. Considering I haven't exercised for eons, I think 3.5km is a pretty decent start.

It's amazing what exercise does to you. Felt way better instantly once I got home and showered. Working out keeps me sane and it kills my insecurities. Yet I lack the discipline to hit the gym regularly. Maybe I should just return to training eh.

Working out is not as tiring when you're doing something you love. So either I go back to training or pick up an entirely new sport.

Oh damn, it's Monday again.

2011-09-18T23:51:00.004+08:00

Popped by Haz's place for Hari Raya open house with Za and Ben yesterday afternoon.

I feel like we're all growing up too quickly. We used to work together in CTV and back then, we only cared about shooting, editing and eating four meals a day. The only squabbles we had - trying to convince each other to lug the camera home. Now our conversations revolve around work, life, uni, NS and the future ahead. It feels like we were just in poly a couple of weeks ago. Only when you stop and look back do you realize that 6 months has passed. This is way too fast.

Anyway met up with these peeps for an impromptu visit to YL's workplace. It's so nice to just nuah and waste the night away, letting your hair down and talking about any random thing under the sun. Nobody cares about being unglam because we've all seen each other at our worst during trainings and camps (except HK who has never burped or farted in front of us, sorry just had to say that hahaha). I always feel like a kid there lol.

Said it before and I'll say it again - the best decision I made in poly was to join this club. Used to drag myself to school because of these people. When I hated school (and felt alone), I always looked forward to bumming around in the clubhouse after lessons. It was always a joy to just train/lepak with the team and laugh over dinner at KAP.

P.S. Went for a dental check-up today and my teeth is in perfect condition despite only brushing them once a day and not flossing for the past 20 years. HAHAHA YEAH LAH VERY GROSS I KNOW.

Maybe it's this expectation of wanting to be happy that just keeps us from ever getting there.

2011-09-16T22:42:00.003+08:00

"Ask most people what they want out of life and the answer is simple - to be happy. Maybe it's this expectation of wanting to be happy that just keeps us from ever getting there. Maybe the more we try to will ourselves to state's of bliss, the more confused we get - to the point where we don't recognize ourselves. Instead we just keep smiling - trying to be the happy people we wish we were. Until it eventually hits us, it's been there all along. Not in our dreams or our hopes but in the known, the comfortable, the familiar."

Never watched an episode of Greys in my life but they've got possibly some of the best quotes I've ever come across (those I can relate to).

As you grow older, you realize material needs are not quite as important as they were maybe 5 years ago. You care more about fulfilling your emotional needs - to love and to be loved, to be secure, to be contented and most importantly - to be happy with who you are and what you have in life.

The small joys.

2011-09-11T21:22:00.003+08:00

1. Good ol' chap chye png near my workplace that reminds me of my favourite Stall 6 food from secondary school.

2. First maxi skirt - I feel so tall in it. :D One of my greatest steals at 12 bucks.
3. Identical sandals with Za.
4. My biggest purchase in life. Blew my entire month's paycheck on it. :'(

Crazy stupid love on friday night with a few teammates which was great. The romantic comedy genre never goes wrong. Ever. Hmm nothing much really going on with my life except the same ol' stuff. Driving lessons, meeting up with friends on weekends, dinners with the family, somewhat reluctantly dragging myself to work on weekdays and still being undecided on uni plans while watching everyone jet off to other countries. I am such a boring person.

On a random note, I'd like to travel all around the world before I die. My bucket list keeps changing.

Instant Gratification

2011-09-10T00:59:00.001+08:00

Second time my name appeared on the credit roll on national television. First episode of this programme aired on Wednesday night. I know nobody really cares about credit rolls but it's different when you're being acknowledged for your work and effort.

Funny how my strongest language is English and yet I've only worked for Malay and Mandarin programmes. Such is life's ironies.

Anyway I really do want to go back to TV production soon. Hoping for freelance opportunities for the time being while I learn as much as I can during my current marketing stint.

“The way a team plays as a whole determines its success. You may have the greatest bunch of individual stars in the world, but if they don't play together, the club won't be worth a dime.”

2011-08-30T01:33:00.002+08:00

I'm just very thankful to have met this bunch of people; they make up the best moments in poly. One of the best things about sports is understanding and realizing what it means to be in a team. You may not be very good friends or may not even meet outside trainings... but when you find yourself facing shit and struggling to press on during each training session, your teammates are there. Your teammates are there encouraging and cheering you on. And you force yourself to push on because of them.

In every sport, there is nothing more important than the bond within a team - even for individualistic sports. Nothing, I tell you, nothing beats having a whole team there training together, yelling at each other to hang in there. Each person giving their best simply because that's what they expect from you too.

Truth be told, I've almost forgotten how it feels like to have someone there - especially someone whom you're not even close to. To egg you on and give you that much needed little pat on the shoulder. To wait till you catch your breath and work on the next lap together.

Thanks mate.

Dealing with Consequences

2011-08-21T01:38:00.001+08:00

Nobody ever warned us this would happen. PSLE only brought you to secondary school. It didn't matter whether you ended up in NA or Express as long as you still had the chance to take O levels in the end. O levels were not that difficult either; you just needed to do well enough to get into a course of your choice in poly.

You're so used to studying hard only for that ONE major exam that will determine your next path in life, that you don't realize it's no longer the same in poly.

Your grades are cumulative. So what if you do well in your final year? Scoring a perfect 4.0 in my final semester didn't help a single bit. That's when reality hits you right in the face. WHAT NOW?

I never realized the possibility of being stuck in this situation - with a GPA so bad that you have nowhere in Singapore worth going to (read: the 3 government universities).

While everyone is happily settling down in NUS/NTU/SMU, you find yourself left behind. Armed with only a diploma and nowhere to go, you enter the working world and start to realize how tough reality is. Listening to stories of friends in NTU is just... plain depressing. You don't realize how pathetic your life has become until you discover how happening their lives are.

People in school are having fun while juggling schoolwork and outings and CCAs and all sorts of things. Their schedules are filled to the brim yet they're having the time of their lives, going through an entirely new experience. You reflect on your own life and become painfully aware of how... empty your life has turned out to be. Directionless and bleak.

Working life is no fun at all. You work your ass off all day whether you like it or not, face the wrath of your boss when something goes wrong and at the end of the day, you're just too tired to do anything else. All you want to do is bathe and sleep before facing the same old cycle the next day. And to make matters worse, you're paid peanuts because you're just a diploma holder.

This is probably my biggest regret - not being able to enter any of the 3 government universities. Because of this, I now face the dilemma of uprooting to Australia. To be honest, I don't want to leave home and be all alone in a foreign land. But I don't have a choice now. I used to have choices 3 years ago. If only I had put in more effort. Unfortunately it's too late for any regrets now.

Because of my fucked up GPA, I have to leave and be miles and miles away from family and friends. It's a prospect I truly hate. Unlike many of my peers who would kill to study abroad, I don't want to. I'll be contented if I can get a spot in NUS or NTU. But I can't.

Ah fuck.

"Everything is designed. Few things are designed well."

2011-08-18T23:31:00.001+08:00

Photos all credited to: http://vi.sualize.us/

Once upon a time I wanted to be a graphic designer. Alas, this is why I never made it. #nevergoodenough

It's okay. Life has more to it than constantly staying overnight in the office. And anyway I'm pretty sure I'm better at filming videos than design. #comfortingself

"Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life."

2011-08-15T23:54:00.003+08:00

Just had the worst driving lesson ever. I couldn't focus at all and made all sorts of stupid mistakes like not changing lanes when I had to turn right. Whut. I was yawning away half the time, trying to keep my eyes open. Obviously I failed today's lesson. Need to repeat everything next lesson FML.

All I want to do now is quit my job, have some nacho cheese fries and a good long sleep.

Es•cape |iˈskāp|: to break free from confinement or control

2011-08-14T23:59:00.030+08:00

“Even though we've changed and we're all finding our own place in the world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not all still friends.”

----------

Took a well-deserved break last Thursday by applying for leave and making the best of it with team mates from my batch. (Y) Caught up with HM, JA & Kelvin over lunch followed by Horrible Bosses. The movie was awesome for de-stressing. Story plot was poor but being nothing more than a crude sexual comedy, it served its purpose of making us laugh practically every 5 minutes.

Felt like a secondary school student all over again that day. (Y)

I don't know why, but hanging out and lepak-ing on a weekday just feels way better than doing the same on weekends.

Attended the NP CCA Awards Night after which! So here's us (minus the peeps who left early).
I really miss training hard for competitions with the team. :/

The weekend was fruitfully spent as well - meeting up with an old pal for a chat over lunch on Saturday and a random museum visit with YL on Sunday.

The museum kaki.

How random and odd. I was covering TVjourn the last time I went to a museum.

----------

Three revelations within a fortnight. Guess it's a sign that I'm not as lousy/awful as I make myself out to be. What a waste of courage but one thing I'm definitely glad and deeply grateful for - friendship.

What I have learnt in my first week at a design-cum-branding firm.

2011-08-06T14:03:00.003+08:00

Those horrible sleepless Graphcomm/Advert/TVjourn nights in MCM were meant for real life practice. And we thought it was just MCM being a bitch. Truth is, real life graphic designers don't have a life nor do they have time for adequate rest.

Okay so one of my colleagues worked till 4am and fainted when he went home. Another one worked till 5am and turned up for work as usual in the morning! Mad anot. The 4am dude fell sick and was on MC the next day. When he returned to work, the boss told him he was too weak and that he needed to exercise more. ERRR EXCUSE ME? They don't even have enough time to sleep, let alone exercise!

To be fair, she's been very nice (too nice actually) to me so I have nothing against her. Thank god I'm not a designer; just a small fry helping with the marketing side. I must admit I got really freaked out when I realised how insane the designers' working lives were. Either they get paid a lot or they really love their jobs.

On a lighter note, something stupid happened at work. I was calling up some company to introduce our services when this happened:

Me when the other party picked up:
"Hi good evening! Sorry good afternoon! *glances at clock* Oh no, I meant good morning! Can I speak to your marketing department please?"

WTF FACEPALM. HAHAHAHAHA!
Must have been half asleep.

Travelogue: Bangkok

2011-07-25T00:10:00.007+08:00

I'm finally gonna churn out the long overdue post on Bangkok. I think it's good to write about your overseas trips so that you can look back years later and have a good laugh over it while reminiscing. My travel kakis: HK and YL!

Day 1: Flying off

Am I the only one who always gets a cheap thrill out of getting my passport stamped at the airport? I love the whole process of finding your boarding gate and actually boarding the plane! -.-

It was my first time traveling abroad with friends without any adult supervision (unlike school trips). All the long hours of planning and trying to accommodate to everyone's preferences. I'm so thankful we had the chance to do a little bit of everything - from shopping to experiencing local culture to exploring the outskirts where we got terribly lost. All in all, it was a fantastic experience despite the mood swings we all took turns to have. Traveling with friends is really another experience altogether and I'm really glad that we got to know each other a little better there. :)

Our hotel room for 4 nights: Grand President Hotel. It was more like a service apartment actually. We were conveniently located a 5 minute walk away from the BTS Nana Station. Public transport in Bangkok is extremely efficient and cheap - their trains are clean and very well maintained while metered cabs and tuk-tuks are available practically at every corner.

First pit-stop in Bangkok: severely overpriced Korean dinner! We found out that we were actually staying in the expatriate area so the whole place was full of international food options instead of Thai food. But our dinner was nice and I think you can't find good Korean food in Singapore for this price - around SGD15/pax.

Day 2: Platinum Mall Madness

Woke up bright and early the next morning for a full day of shopping! That's us looking awfully excited on the train hehe. HK and I look like we're wearing the same shirt, but really we're not!

We walked around the typical malls (Central World, Siam Paragon) before deciding that we were budget shoppers and made our way to Platinum Mall instead. OMG I LOVE THAT PLACE. It's like seeing all the blogshops come alive! HK and I were squealing at every floor going, "Eh that one selling at so-and-so for 30 bucks!" or "I saw that online before leh!"

Platinum is like the wholesale version of Far East Plaza, only much bigger and better. Calculators speak the same language since we can't really communicate in Thai and they only know bits and pieces of English. Bargaining is really a cheap thrill. HAHAHA.

Bangkok's notorious traffic which we didn't really experience since we travelled mostly on foot and train. Their pink cabs are mad cute and I don't even like pink normally!

Lunch at Platinum Mall's food court. My favourite is the mango sticky rice. The sweetest freshest sliced mango accompanied by glutinous rice drizzled with coconut milk. (Y) I had the same thing again for dinner. The one dish that can be found literally EVERYWHERE in Bangkok is the beef noodles. You can smell it everywhere especially when you're exploring the city on foot. There're street stalls selling beef noodles at every corner.

I held back from shopping too much because I was afraid I'd run out of money. BIG MISTAKE. I came back to Singapore with several thousand THB!! #bigregret

Day 3: Damnoen Saduak Floating Market & Railway Market

We got into an argument early in the morning and thankfully, all was fixed (albeit with black faces and hungry stomaches) after a while.

They sell all sorts of severely overpriced touristy items (which I still bought anyway -.-) and food. There aren't any roads in this quaint little place and the villagers travel by boats. We saw a parent sending their daughter to school in a small boat.

Lol the fedora is super duper touristy. But you don't get a chance to wear it often in Singapore, so must make good use of it in Bangkok right!

After the floating market, we made our way to the famous railway market nearby. Okay so this is not your typical everyday market. Four times a day, a train goes through the market and when this happens, all the vendors rush to keep their goods and withdraw the tents to let the train pass before pushing everything out to sell again. It's quite comical really, to watch the whole process.

Mandatory touristy shot with the train at the railway tracks. This isn't your modern BTS skyline train, it's the super old kampong train that travels long distances between each stop. They make around 3 stops in an hour?

We walked around the market and nearby shophouses (very old school and similar to the pre-WWII Singapore) while waiting for the train to move off.

The fish thing is like an iconic Maeklong mascot or something. They sell the fish everywhere and you can find postcards/magnets/keychains all bearing pictures of the fish.

Toads on sticks, anyone? Their produce are so fresh that most of the fishes sold were jumping around gasping for breath while being sold. Very disturbing. Anyway, I accidently stepped onto a lady's vegetables while trying to avoid colliding with a man delivering goods and she screamed at me in Thai! I was so stunned and shocked that I avoided that lane for the rest of our time there -.-

People here in the outskirts don't speak English at all unlike the city where you still can briefly communicate.

A barrage of random pictures taken whilst walking around the rest of the place outside the market. The strawberry ice-cream had those old school mamashop jellies in it! We kept snacking because we didn't have time for lunch and the weather was literally burning. Never thought it'd be possible for any country to be hotter than SG.

Can you see them literally selling their stuff on the tracks? We camped at the side of tracks and choped a good spot to spam pictures of the approaching train and the chaotic madness of the vendors and tents.

The postcard perfect picture. See all the tents withdrawn? They come back down one by one immediately within split seconds after the train passes them by.

No more pictures of the place after this because we got too tired on the way back. What happened was that we took bloody 4 hours to get back to the city. A one-hour stuffy train ride from Maeklong to a ferry terminal where we took a domestic ferry (there were wild dogs on the ferry!!). We were the only foreigners on the ferry and everyone kept staring like they'd never seen foreigners before.

After alighting, we were lucky enough to meet a very nice fellow who lead us to the Mahachai station. Then it was another one-hour train ride to Wongwian Yai. These trains are mad hot, no air-con or cushioned seats. I thought the breeze would provide some respite from the insane heat but nooo, only hot air blew in when the train moved!

Clever us alighted one stop early because everyone else alighted. Monkey see monkey do. This is when we got lost (remember this is not the modern skytrain, the distance between each stop for the railway train is not funny). We walked for eons in the crazy heat and everyone we asked for directions from just kept pointing to one general direction. -.- Really felt like true blue backpackers I swear! Never walked so far in SG before.

We just walked nonstop and after what seemed like forever, we finally spotted sky-scrappers. This sounds really silly but once we saw those buildings in the far distance, I was soooo relieved and grateful! HAHAHA. It was like yay we're on the right track and we're going back to the comfort of urban life. LOL.

Rewarded ourselves with a THB299 (SGD12) sukiyaki buffet for dinner! Thai massage after that.

Despite my complaints, I still found the whole traveling-so-far-and-getting-lost experience a fruitful one. How often do you get to do that if you're not a backpacker? At least we tried the authentic rural train. And getting lost isn't as bad when you're with friends. (Y)

Day 4: Chatukchak & Khao San Road

Coconut ice-cream to combat the heat! Doesn't look like it but we were all perspiring profusely. Chatuchak is a gigantic maze of shops selling everything from furniture to clothes to food. It looks kinda like our Bugis Street, just way bigger and messier (AND HOTTER).

Going there is like preparing for battle. You gotta fight the heat and human traffic. Things are not exactly dirt cheap there either. Platinum has cheaper buys but there was definitely a wider selection of items at Chatuchak.

Mediocre food for lunch at one of the shopping malls near our hotel after washing up. It seems like our area lacks good Thai food. :(

Tuk-tuk ride to Khao San Road! Yes it's touristy but certainly a must try. I loved the ride especially when we took it again that night. During the day, all you feel is the heat and exhaust fumes blowing at your face.

Lo and behold, Khao San Road! Bangkok's most famous backpackers' street. This was probably one of our most exciting times in Bangkok. It's full of budget travelers and modern pubs and yet the street still retains it's share of Thai culture.

Most of the signboards there are in English, to cater to the influx of foreigners in this area I assume.

All sorts of cheap/weird hairdos you can get along the whole stretch!

HK and I braided our hair for only THB100. Good deal or what. Totally loved our hair! ♥ ♥ ♥

The whole place is so vibrant and colourful. One of the unique things I liked was this minibus-bar. There's one near our hotel too but this bus looks cooler hehe.

Chilling at some alfresco pub with a live band. We stayed there for quite awhile because it started pouring. Settled our dinner there too with phad thai and curried soft shell crab. It was okay, nothing fantastic. I still like my mango sticky rice more. LOLOL.

Next up for HK: eating deep fried insects!

Look at her smiling so happily even when she's about to nom on the disgusting thing! SIAO ANOT. I got extremely grossed out by the whole affair and refused to put any of those bugs near my mouth. This girl said it tasted salty like normal chips. -.-

Getting our henna tattoos done and snacking on some pancake thing during the process. I am madly in love with my tattoo! It's a Thai prayer for protection and good luck and traditionally administered by Thai monks themselves.

All good things must come to an end unfortunately. :( Here we are, in our second tuk-tuk ride back to the hotel. The ride back was mad enjoyable, with the cooling after-rain breeze blowing at us.

So that basically sums up our whole trip. Short but memorable.
My only regret was not shopping more!!! #toolate

Hopefully there'll be many more overseas trips with friends in the near future. :)))

Just a quick one before I hit the sack.

2011-07-21T23:18:00.003+08:00

Work has been a boring, monotonous and mindless affair. Never been more glad to resign; can't take it anymore. How would you like to sit down all day and do nothing but answer emails, scan forms and rename documents? :/ Urgh only 6 more working days to go. Good news is, I've scored a new job (thanks to Ben actually) that begins in August. Marketing position in a design firm. I hope it all turns out well. Fingers crossed.

And I've finally begun driving lessons! Just came home from my second lesson actually. I managed to get the same patient instructor from the first session by luck. Only problem was, I think he secretly wanted to kick me out of the car after the first hour today. I spent 2 hours turning the car left and right and still failed. Me horrible driver I tell you. :/

Okay going to crash now. My body feels tired all the time even when I clock 6 hours of sleep daily.

If there's one thing I've learnt, it's that offices are like funerals.

2011-07-17T15:57:00.001+08:00

They share the same eerie similarities - the intense silence only broken by the sounds of furious typing, the constant flipping of pages/files and the hush-hush telephone calls. Void of laughter and creativity. It seems like a department of robots at work, all exhausted and cranky.

It feels like a way of life, to hate your job and to hate weekdays. What good is it to sit at a desk all day and earn so much money, when you barely have time to spend a cent?

Perhaps I can afford to think this way because I'm still young. I don't have to pay off housing loans and worry over financial woes. But honestly, is it worth living your life like this? To be suffocated and unhappy all the time.

I resigned on Friday after merely 4 days at work. Accepting this deskbound job was probably the biggest mistake of my life. No more stuffy corporate environments for me ever again. Two more weeks to suffer and I'll be done with this job for good.

All things pink.

2011-07-11T12:03:00.003+08:00

I'm back from Bangkok! Felt so sad yesterday in the plane, knowing that you've to return back to Singapore, back to reality. The trip was fantastic and I enjoyed every bit of it. :) I'll write a more detailed post soon but in the meantime, here's how much Thais love pink.

Hot pink cabs.

Baby pink buses.

Baby pink motorbikes.

Pink eggs.

Even our tuk tuk driver wore pink.

---

No link to today's post but this is how I look now. I love the hair & tattoo so much that it's gonna stay this way for as long as I can possibly leave it (i.e. 2 weeks).

FIERCE ANOT? :D

I want these so badly.

2011-07-02T16:34:00.000+08:00

I want to own these shoes in all three colours!
Unfortunately, I also need moolah. SIGH.

It's been a fantastic week.

2011-07-01T10:59:00.004+08:00

The week has been productive and awesome, except for the fact that I still cannot land a job. -.- But nevermind, good news to share!

1) I pass my BTT yesterday morning! FULL MARKS :D

2) I been offered a place at the University of Adelaide.

Waiting for UWA to revert with my application outcome before making a final decision. UOA only offered me a semester's worth of advanced standing, so that means the total duration of my degree will be 2.5 years. Hopefully UWA offers me a better deal.

I'm still undecided about heading overseas because of the financial constraints that my dad will have to go through. The approximate cost (based on 2.5 years) amounts to SGD180k in total. That's a disgustingly huge sum and I'm not sure if a piece of paper is honestly worth this much.

-----

Kelvin's 21st Celebration

HK's thigh is seriously toned in this picture!! Anyway, as with huge gatherings like these, it's a time for everyone to catch up with each other and talk crap. All the army boys only have one thing to share: army life. -.- And in true blue Singaporean fashion, the birthday kid must be subjected to some form of bullying. LOL.

Farewell lunch for my family maid.

My family maid of 13 years is finally going home for good. It feels weird; we've all gotten so used to her presence in our lives that it just won't be the same without her around. But she needs to go home also lah, 13 years already leh.

-----

Heading to Bangkok next week! It's gonna be my first time travelling overseas alone with friends (school trips not counted). Fingers crossed that we won't get affected by all the street protests that's bound to happen there since the Thai election's taking place on Sunday.

The sun, sea and sand

2011-06-20T02:35:00.003+08:00

An afternoon well spent at Siloso beach with good company. Reminded why I rarely visit Singapore's beaches - they're just way too crowded. :/

Random news:

I've sworn off prawns and crabs for the next one month at least. I'm a big fan usually but last week (the day before starting work), I had a huge crab + prawn buffet feast with some of the npwushu peeps. We went mad spamming seafood. Just within the 5 of us (Pearle, Priscilla, PC, Shawn and me), I daresay we had at least 60 prawns? Later on, KT joined in and we shared like 5 servings of crabs. That amount is just disgusting HAHAHA.

And one week before this seafood feast, I had an all-meat buffet at Carnivore to celebrate Bran's birthday with the op pals. WIN LAH TWO BUFFETS IN A WEEK.

Need to hit the gym soon! Either that or just go back to training. Haven't been exercising regularly ever since Nationals ended.

So I didn't get fired.

2011-06-19T01:04:00.006+08:00

My short stint as floor manager has ended. As with every job experience no matter how short-lived, you learn something new. I'm so glad I decided to hang in there after the disastrous first day. It was so bad that I went home and cried. In fact, I think it was my most traumatizing day of the year.

And for the first time in years, I turned to prayer that night.

When the producer asked me if I was interested in returning the second day, I wanted to yell no so badly but I said yes instead. It was so tempting to be irresponsible and simply disappear and run away. Yet I didn't want to be labelled as the pathetic loser I already was. I didn't want them to think of me as an useless idiot. I think giving up at the first sign of trouble speaks a lot about one's character and attitude. Well, staying on despite all that shit was the best decision ever I reckon.

The second day turned out to be a 180-degree change. Everything went smoothly without a hitch and I thank God for this. In all honesty, my faith hasn't been fully restored but I still am grateful to Him for working this miracle even now when I've lost all faith. The following days went very well and both producer and director were incredibly patient and nice.

The cameramen were great as well, especially on the first day. After I got yelled at for screwing things up repeatedly, one of the nicer camera uncles spoke to me patiently and tried to guide me along - that I am immensely grateful for.

The director texted me yesterday after filming wrapped up, saying he liked my attitude towards work and that I would go far in whatever industry I chose with this attitude. I think that's like seriously the best compliment ever! :D

But I still need to learn how not to be an awkward turtle (in Za's words). I have problems socializing lol. The producer told me this on my second day: "在这个行业做工，你不可以害羞。" I really need to try to speak to people and not get intimidated so easily.

But nevertheless, this experience was a good one (although a tad lonely too since I barely spoke much). I think I've underestimated myself. I cannot believe I survived working in an all-Mandarin environment. *pats self on the back and beams*

:)

And a picture to end off this post. Featuring the hosts, guests and participating kids. I secretly like that the sound-auntie told me I look younger than some of the kids! Hehehe.

Please do not let me get fired on my first day.

2011-06-10T23:54:00.000+08:00

Life has been treating me well. Too well, in fact. The only (and biggest) problem is that I can't seem to find a job that I want. And speaking of jobs, I just landed one today - one that might just kill me and sully my reputation before I even formally step into this industry. FML.

So I just became the floor manager of a MANDARIN SHOW. Epic win. I kept trying to convince the lady that my command of mandarin is atrocious and she honestly didn't sound too keen on hiring me. But seeing that she urgently needs a floor manager for a shoot in 2 days time... I don't think she had much of a choice. :/

PLEASE DO NOT LET ME GET FIRED ON MY FIRST DAY. PLEASE LET THE HOSTS UNDERSTAND ENGLISH PERFECTLY WELL. PLEASE LET THE DIRECTOR SPEAK TO ME IN ENGLISH!

If I screw things up, my future career at Singapore' biggest media conglomerate will be over before I even get into uni.

Scotty McCreery

2011-06-03T14:17:00.004+08:00

I AM IN LOVE. His voice is crazy, it completely overwhelms you.

I wanna marry this boy.

No amount of tears or anguish is going to change anything.

2011-05-26T22:29:00.004+08:00

Life is never fair; it slaps you in the face when you least expect it. I just wish it didn't choose last night to ruin everything I'd worked for. As it turned out, the judges decided to have this really long discussion about my performance. My original score of 8.3 (Liu JL told me after the whole thing) was pushed down to 7.93 because it was deemed as too zhixuan for a traditional category.

WTF. I have competed with this routine for 2 years and no judge ever complained. But this time, after I finally walked out feeling like I'd redeemed myself from last year's IVP disaster, life decides to do this to me. For once, I made no mistakes and was actually satisfied with myself. :'(

Based on my original score, I lost by 0.01 to my old nemesis but that's okay. I can live with that. I lost to her 2 years in a row anyway. But this time, I finally managed to narrow the gap between us to 0.01. Yet the judges had to take all that away from me. I can accept losing to people who are better than me, but I cannot accept losing to people who are lousier - all because of this routine flaw. It cost me everything I'd worked for.

Do you have any idea how heart-breaking this is? There is no more "you can prove them wrong next time" because there no longer is a "next time". This is my last competition.

"Today is our final 5pm."

2011-05-25T01:04:00.003+08:00

As said by Jane who did a fantastic job on her valedictorian speech. An odd mix of emotions that I never expected. But yes, today the 24th of May marks the final 5pm of our three years of madness. To describe it as a roller-coaster ride would be an understatement.

One thing that I've learnt in the last few years is that I've underestimated myself. We've survived the bitchiness, ridiculous amount of assignments and projects after projects, sleepless nights and even the most absurd of deadlines. As much as I have complained about life at FMS and constantly feeling like the invisible wallpaper, I am very thankful for the opportunities (YOG!) that it has given me on top of making me a stronger person when it comes to responsibility and challenges. YAH LAH VERY CHEESY BUT TRUE OKAY.

To quote Ms Anita Kwan, it's not whether we can, but whether we will.

Amanda, whom without I would have died during lectures.

Za, the ninja who has been a great project mate and listening ear.

Haz, one of the CTV crew who has made life at m:idea fun and enjoyable.

Parents whom I've argued like mad with and yet still came down to support me.

Kathleen Loo: The secondary school BFF.

The awesome team mates who came down to my graduation ceremony. Very touched leh! ♥

I love how this picture is so awkward and funny hehehe.

The OP kids minus Issac who was busy entertaining his gf -.-

Issac Yuen.

Dinner at Watami to celebrate :D

-----

Closure at last. Next up: UNI!

Happy birthday mommy!

2011-05-18T17:26:00.002+08:00

I love you very much mommy. Hope you liked last night's dinner treat! I promise to not fight with you so much and yell less in future. Erm and I also promise not to punch Leonard/Nicholas so often hehehe.

My dear mother.
Dang if I really do go abroad to study, I'd miss her like crazy.

My youngest brother has this perpetually 'sian' look on his face no matter what he does.

Upper Thomson Road FTW!
Awesome food that's convenient and nearby.

My dad hates driving out of Yishun -.- I cannot wait to get my license so I can bring my mom everywhere to makan. Both of us are mad about food.

“To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish 'till death do us part.”

2011-05-11T01:39:00.003+08:00

Attended the wedding of Bev and Lihai on Saturday night and boy was it a blissful and splendid affair. Bev is the first person that I know of within my age group to get married – kinda makes me feel old and awfully grown-up.

The solemnization ceremony was very heartwarming and the whole set-up was simply picture perfect. Set against the stunning backdrop of the beach with a gentle sea breeze at twilight. I believe everyone present felt genuinely touched when the couple recited their vows. Felt so emotional when the bride started tearing and choking over her words.

Dad of the bride walking his daughter down the sandy aisle.

"I do."

Everyone say it together now: AWWW.

Raining confetti on the newlyweds.

Office girls with Bev!

One of the gazillion photos taken at the dinner.

The hacker of my facebook statuses.

Haz and I with the boss - and coordinator of Bev's big day.

Machiam mcm gathering.

---

Although I am still very cynical about marriage in general, I sincerely wish Bev and Lihai all the best and hope their love and happiness last for many more years to come. Weddings leave you with a good fuzzy warm feeling that you can't quite explain. (Y)

Mishmash of Updates

2011-05-05T03:33:00.002+08:00

I think my life revolves around food (lately at least). So I've finally tried EwF and Korean cuisine. EwF was a massive disappointment. So many people were raving about it online.. But my fries were served cold and dry and the burger was merely average. The only thing worth the money was the quiet ambience - which I think is largely due to the fact that it's situated in OC where human traffic is pretty low in general.

Oh well at least my first experience with Korean food was decent. Met up with YL for dinner at Upper Thomson Road and we happened to walk past this Korean restaurant (Auntie Kim's Korean Restaurant) which was full of people. Though a tad overpriced, the food was superb and portions were generous. Cannot really judge Korean food lah since my only prior experience with it was kimchi (and I really hate kimchi btw).

---------

Caught up with Za last week. Sigh, how I wish we could go on to university together. :( But everyone has their own plans. Hello Za if you're reading this, I really hope you get into NTU and do well there. If I get accepted to my choice of uni, you better come over to visit me during your holidays!!! You have 2 years to save up! :D

Thank goodness for Tuesday's PT. It's the only justification for all that excess calories consumed. My stamina is so shitty that my legs were trembling after 20 laps of frog jumps up the stairs and 15 laps of sprinting. For some reason, I don't feel as hyped up for the Nationals as I did for IVP. So unprepared for Nationals and yet I'm not feeling the anxiety. No adrenaline rush, no nothing. I wish I actually felt something so that I can really chiong trainings and push myself. :/

Think I better increase the number of trainings per week otherwise I'll really die on the carpet come the last week of May. Fingers crossed that I won't be so suay and have my graduation ceremony clash with my event. The first day of competition happens to be on 24th - which is the same day as my graduation.

Random photo after Saturday's training.

The picture below is the result of impulsive spending. I need to shoot myself. While the black heels are for graduation, I bought the grey laced-up wedges purely on impulse because they looked sooo good. :( But I rarely wear anything that isn't flat soled. So what do I do with the wedges now? Dang.

Finally.

2011-05-04T01:55:00.006+08:00

About time someone stood up for PAP. With so many people complaining and hankering for change and showing endless support for the opposition (especially online on FB/Twitter!!) these days, I'm so glad XX - who is undeniably an influential figure in the local online media scene - finally said her piece. Click here to read the article.

I won't pretend here and say I'm very interested in politics. But I care enough to say this - Singaporeans (especially my generation) have grown far too comfortable for their own good. Not once have they stopped to think about the good the government has done for the country. They only focus on the flaws. Obviously PAP isn't the best government out there. But is the opposition any better? Has the opposition proven themselves worthy? All talk and no action yet.

While the thought of change might be welcoming, change isn't always necessarily good. Everyone is subjected to their own opinions. This is just my point of view.

I finally chopped off my hair.

2011-04-26T01:18:00.002+08:00

Such a random decision. My head feels extremely light now haha! Totally not used to seeing myself looking like this; it feels like a wig actually. But I like the change. :)

Will blog more once I've fixed my sad pathetic excuse of a macbook. I've basically lost everything - all my personal stuff and Adobe programmes and Microsoft softwares and Final Cut Pro! It's driving me nuts. Thank god for the iPhone.

I need temper management therapy.

2011-04-24T13:14:00.002+08:00

My temper is so disgustingly fiery lately that I feel like I'm turning into some sort of monster. There comes a period of time per month that I feel and behave like an utter asshole - I suspect it's PMS. But recently, it gets so bad and completely overwhelms me that it feels like I'm having early menopause. FML.

I've been quarreling with my dad over the stupidest matters, yelling at my brother for no good reason, having extreme moods wings which cause me to lash out at anyone over anything. The only person who can stand me is my dearest mother. I'm very sorry that I've been behaving like a bitch but I just feel so angsty all the time these days. Can't think straight when I'm pissed so I end up yelling. Fuck my family's lives to be living with me.

Need to be alone so that I can't yell at anyone.

Teammates

2011-04-18T02:22:00.001+08:00

Whoohoo I shot and edited this! Super proud of this hehe. Mostly hand-held because my tripod was too flimsy, thus the shaky shots. :/ Filmed using HK's Canon DSLR which was surprisingly user friendly.

没信心

2011-04-15T00:13:00.001+08:00

WHAT IS THIS. Even my iPhone takes better photos than my camera. Tsk tsk. I really need a job so that I can get my hands on that elusive Nikon camera before the year ends.

Headed to Interschools for the last time today only to get chased out because we didn't have passes. Ben Chew was nice enough to loan me, JW and Gabyew passes for the morning session. Couldn't watch the afternoon session which was supposed to be the highlight! >:(

I never ever get sick of watching wushu comps.

Anyway I feel so sad whenever I hear about the OP team. What happened to the team morale and team spirit? How do you train hard together when everything is so messed up? Maybe it's time for change. Don't mean to sound ungrateful but looking at the current situation, perhaps change would be a good thing. Although I didn't train hard back then, I still sorta grew up with Team OP. I don't want to see the whole club falling apart and closing down completely - which I suspect will happen in the near future.

Speaking of competitions, everyone seems to be all geared up for the Nationals now. The team did paota on Tuesday night and I felt like I was really missing out on everything. :/ Joined in during the weightlifting though. Can't wait for my arms to get all toned and strong. I need more strength. Woke up yesterday with aching arms and solid thighs. (y)

I know I've already made up my mind long ago not to compete but today, KT suddenly told me that they haven't submitted the forms and that I still have time to consider. WHY LIKE THAT. During training just now, Zhang & Yuen JL asked me why I wasn't competing. Honestly felt like a loser when I struggled for an answer. Finally said this: 没信心。

SIGH.

Fruitful Weekend

2011-04-11T22:55:00.001+08:00

CDL Challenge 2011

Tze Yuan's group: MIDS WING!

Group 22: AIRWING!

Nearly died running all over Singapore in search of clues and answers. Many a time where Pearle, Vernon and I were utterly baffled but we completed the race nevertheless. Very proud of ourselves. And we broke the record for some 3-wheel challenge whoohoo! Emerged 7th out of 28 groups at the end. Not bad at all man. :)

Full respect for people who go through the Amazing Race (am a huge fan of Amazing Race Asia). They carry massive bag-packs while running all over unknown places/cities in search of clues without the help of GPS or any IT gadgets.

Ours was just around Singapore and we were all dead tired already.

----------

Dinner at a cosy Mexican restuarant with the old OP pals.

This restaurant had fantastic service which was very personalized. My first time trying Mexican cuisine and it definitely didn't disappoint.

Of course this being the first time, we ordered a mix of hits and misses. But the ambience and service made up for everything in my opinion. Only downside was that it was on the pricy end.

Realised Mexican food has very extreme tastes. It's either very spicy or sour or sweet. Anyway, the nachos (below) was good; perfect mix of herbs and melted cheese.

But the experience was definitely good enough to get me coming back again just to try other dishes on the menu.

In the midst of saving money for a good Nikon camera so that my food pictures won't turn out so awful. I wanna try my hands at food photography. Right. I'm doing it purely out of interest so don't shoot me for lousy pictures. I'm a videographer, not a photographer.

----------

In other news, I've been spending my weekdays at CCHM watching the annual Inter-schools. It gets more and more exciting every year; standards keep going up. I feel old (and depressed) watching the kids compete.

I've lost my direction.

2011-04-08T02:09:00.000+08:00

不要放弃我可以吗？

A Kid's Life

2011-04-05T17:17:00.002+08:00

This space is so dead.

Haven't been doing anything productive ever since IBP ended. Apart from (reluctantly) going back to the office once in a while to clear up projects, I have been going for training (finally!) and basically either nuah at home or have fun outdoors.

Since I have all the time in the world now, I am determined to go down for training thrice a week. Need to get my form back first (not that I was ever any good lah) and then train hard from there. A pity Nationals is just next month; not prepared enough to compete. If it was perhaps delayed another 3 months, I'd compete.

Uni plans are temporarily settled as well. I'm applying to three different Australian universities. If I get accepted, woohoo Aussie here I come! If I get rejected from all three (which is honestly a very bleak prospect), I will... erm sit down and cry.

-----

BBQ on Sunday with the team

I can barely cycle properly and yet once I got the hang of it, I was insane enough to cycle with the kids all the way to Changi and back. Awesome day spent eating (I love BBQ-ed prawns!), cycling, playing frisbee and of course, watching the guys battle it out in a hilarious game of contact rugby!

-----

Bonding Camp at Loft

To be honest, I wasn't looking forward to this camp initially because it's mainly the kids. Only 3 people from my batch turned up. But everything turned out great thank goodness. Good opportunity to bond with the kids lah. The closer you are to the team, the more motivation you have to train.

The pad (coated with jam lah) looks damn realistic I swear! Created quite a stir on FB HAHA.

Blind folded trust-walk was the highlight of the camp. Kudos to the current comm. From being attacked by mosquitoes to being smeared with flour to rolling on the field to cleaning up the messy aftermath. I LOVE MY TEAMMATES. :)

Now I need to find a job. Hmm should I find an easy decently-paid job or work long irregular hours in the media and earn peanuts but get a nicer portfolio?

Crossroad

2011-03-21T03:15:00.000+08:00

Just penned a long-winded reflective piece that will not be published here for all to see. But yes, I have wasted far too much time on negative thoughts. My biggest regret is not stopping to appreciate what I have and had.

I do enjoy what I do in this course, but I just wish the people were different. I've spent the last three years drifting around, not fully paying attention to my surroundings because I've never gotten used to the people there. I've spent the last three years being a part of the wallpaper while chasing my dreams.

I've discovered that I'm happiest when I'm away from them. Is this a sign that this may not be the right industry for me? It's ironic how I've worked so hard to get here, so sure that this is what I want in life and yet now I am questioning myself. I think I'll just go with the flow and see what opportunities life brings me. Maybe I'll end up in a completely different industry for the better.

Now that I have all the time in the world to think about what I want in life (and uni plans sigh), I have decided I need a change. Gonna spend the rest of March fixing my room. Time to clear all the trash mysteriously accumulated over the years. Work on some much-needed paintings and actually hang them up. Rearrange furniture. Things like that. Next on the list is a wardrobe revamp. Time to give away all the clothes that have been sitting unworn in my closet for years and actually stock up on good basics (I love them!) and effortless outerwear.

I have also decided to eat whatever I want and train hard. Growing old already, I need to start learning how to be confident about myself. You're only young once; don't waste the precious few years left of youth feeling all insecure and lousy. Here's to a new step ahead in life! Regret for wasted time is even more wasted time.

Growing up is scary business.

2011-03-09T17:47:00.001+08:00

When I was a kid, all I wanted to do was grow up. Back then, growing up seemed cool. It meant not having a curfew, it gave you the right to hang out with friends after school and more importantly, grown-ups didn't have to study or take exams.

Fast forward to today.

Now that I'm about to graduate from poly, growing up has taken on a completely different meaning. You need to think about so many things. There's university to consider, study loans to pay off, jobs to find, the stress of saving enough money to buy a car/house. On top of all that, you no longer have room to make mistakes. Everyone tells you it's alright to make mistakes when you're a kid. But now, mistakes could potentially mean the loss of a job or going the wrong direction in life.

Not so cool anymore aye.

I'm so vexed over university choices at the moment. Everyone keeps giving me different advice on what's good or what's not. So undecided and confused now. Do a private degree here and then head over to Australia to do my masters or just head there straight away for both degree and masters?

Tsktsk, decisions, decisions.

Bintan: A Quick Breather

2011-03-08T00:20:00.005+08:00

Was away at Bintan last week for an office retreat. Despite the immensely gorgeous beach they had (much cleaner than Desaru), I won't be returning to Bintan anytime soon. The place's definitely nice; great for a quick getaway, but it's way too overpriced! Cheat money only. :/

I really enjoyed the limited water sports we did though. :D Only managed to try out kayaking & jet skiing. Snorkeling was unfortunately missed out due to the rough water conditions. BUT. A couple of us might be heading over to Tioman Island next month for snorkelling. SO EXCITED HAHA. Nothing's confirmed yet though.

In the meantime, pictures.

The rooms look much bigger in the pictures, thanks to Jeremy's lens. He brought a variety over to shoot (best part of having the photogs with us)!

First stop of the day: Flying Fox

I was too much of a chicken to attempt jumping off that precarious ledge initially. Only decided at the very end that I had to do it. Didn't wanna leave Bintan with regrets. I hate the "if only" or "what if" feeling that somehow creeps into life when you least want it.

Above: The reason why I didn't bother with my pathetic sad digicam. JUST LOOK AT THE FIRING RANGE ALL IN ONE LINE!!

Paralysed with fear. Look at the about-to-cry expression LOL.

THE FACE OF A HAPPY CAMPER :D

OMG FRESH SEAFOOD. Cannot describe my love for crabs & prawns!

Leaving for the beach after breakfast buffet on the second day. And that is how life ought to be everyday. :D

Yes that's my boss. LOL.

The only reason why I'm uploading this picture of Val here is because it's so beautifully shot. Don't you think it belongs right on the cover of a jet-ski brochure!

Too funny not to post up!

No pictures of the rest of us at the pool because everyone looked like crap; super unglam to the max.

Pasar Oleh Oleh

That was pretty much it for the second day. Bowling was fun. MASSAGE WAS THE BOMB. Nothing beats having a full body massage after a day in the sun.

Back to the beach on our last day for snorkelling but the waves were far too rough. :/ Ended up trying the jet ski. A total rip-off at SGD50 for 15 minutes!

But yes, it was worth every single cent of it. SO LIBERATING I SWEAR. For that glorious few minutes, it felt like you were on top of the world. As though nothing could ever bring you down; as though you were free to fly.

-----

Now I'm just really hoping our Tioman trip materializes! Next on the watersports agenda: snorkeling.

Right. I need to start saving up so that I don't run out of moolah. When you spend your own hard-earned money, you start being a lot more conscious of what you spend on. Plus I still hope to be able to go overseas with several teammates before I enter uni.

2011-02-27T23:53:00.001+08:00

I love the clean new look of this space now. So plain & white & empty, I like.

In other news, I have no idea what I'm doing with my life at the moment. Hate the fact that everyone else has a plan in front of them while I'm just wasting my life away. Need to carefully plan & put everything in order. For starters, I need to visit the Australian uni fair next month before deciding on my uni plans. Also, I must sign up for BTT by March.

I wonder when work will end for good. I do enjoy doing what I do - filming & all that. But it comes to a point where you're just sick & tired of everything. I'm really hoping all projects will wrap up by the end of March. The thought of editing those IS videos... urgh.

Heading off for a quick office retreat to Bintan on Tuesday. Never thought I'd be going for getaways with fellow mcmers. :/ PLEASE LET IT BE FUN.

Silence that remains

2011-02-21T19:14:00.005+08:00

There it was at the tip of my fingers
There it was on the tip of my tongue
There you were and I had never been that far
There it was the whole world wrapped inside my arms
And I let it all slip away

What do I do now that you're gone
No backup plan no second chance
And no one else to blame
All I can hear in the silence that remains
Are the words I couldn't say

Pathetic

2011-02-20T00:18:00.000+08:00

I hate feeling so angsty all the time.

Detached

2011-02-15T21:30:00.002+08:00

Sometimes you're so pathetic to the point that you pretend to understand the joke, laughing along with everyone else, trying to ignore the fact that you are actually the joke. Nobody seems to realize that weight does not make one any less immune to insults. What is it like to be skinny; to be given the license to mock fat people just because you're all skin and bones.

Maybe, just maybe, society will stop making snide little remarks and allow you to fit in when you're finally nothing but a piece of skeleton.

Support Needed

2011-02-11T11:02:00.001+08:00

Please help to LIKE CTV's spanking new fanpage on Facebook now! Help to tweet/facebook this please. There are 157 likes at the moment, we need another 643 before the end of this semester!

http://www.facebook.com/ctvnp

Much thanks if you've LIKED us. If not, please do it now! :)

CNY: An excuse to overindulge on food

2011-02-07T01:46:00.004+08:00

The past few days of festivities were spent back in Batu Pahat as usual. Chinese New Year is really just an excuse to eat all you want. I swear I can feel myself getting fatter by the minute.

---

5 REASONS WHY MALAYSIA BAGUS

1) When you cannot find a parking spot, you simply remove the "No Parking" sign and park there anyway. Nobody gives two hoots about it; that's Malaysia for you.

2) There are shops inside shopping malls that blatantly sell pirated DVDs even when the police are patrolling. Note: Money solves everything in Malaysia.

3) 8-course dinner for 10pax at RM600. That's like only SGD$25 each.

4) Movie tickets are RM5. When have you ever paid SGD$2 to watch a movie in Singapore?

5) KFC there serves cheesy potato wedges.

---

But despite all that, I'm still very Singaporean at heart. I feel very secure & comfortable here, especially when I go out alone. In Malaysia, you're literally courting death if you're a female heading out alone at night on public transport while wearing shorts.

Chu Xi: Getting ready to leave for reunion dinner with dad's side.

Chu Er: Leaving my grandma's place for reunion lunch with mom's side.

I stopped taking pictures with my pathetic point-and-shoot handy camera on chu er because my cousin arrived armed with a swanky new DSLR. He got it primarily for cam-whoring purposes can you believe it. HAHAHA. Ripped the photos off him before heading back to Singapore.

A traditional annual affair with the famous yusheng. I've eaten enough to last me the rest of the year.

Unlike most Singaporean families, we never ever have steamboats. I don't know why though.

The Narcissist & The Shorty

The Backstreet Boys Wannabes

Rare photo with my grandma

The humble signboard of Batu Pahat's best cendol store

As with most street food in Malaysia, you need to close one eye when it comes to hygiene. The father-son duo who manages this store handles your money and ingredients with the same pair of bare hands. But everyone goes back to them regularly. They've been there for as long as my mom can remember, selling the same old bowl of cendol.

It's amazing how they operate with such simple tools. All they have is an electric ice-blender and two pots of ingredients (gula melaka and the green stuff).

Everybody swears by this bowl of brown sticky goop. BEST CENDOL EVER.

Being Realistic

2011-02-01T23:42:00.001+08:00

Two completely different worlds.

Fulfillment

2011-01-29T23:51:00.001+08:00

Sad fact: My life revolves around work so much that I think I will be at a temporary loss when IBP officially ends in a couple of weeks.

So I've been crazily busy the past week. Spent the past few days traveling all the way to Resort World Sentosa for the IAVE World Conference (and there was the Youth Conference before that). What a mad work schedule; with work beginning as early as 8am and ending as late as 11pm on some nights.

But it was a fantastic work experience shooting an international conference, with the opportunity to shoot Michelle Yeoh, President SR Nathan & others. Probably the best form of exposure I've gotten out of IBP. Plus I'm really grateful to work alongside such nice people who were not in the least demanding.

I weighed myself on Thursday night and guess what. I ACTUALLY LOST 2 KG. Best thing that came out of the conference. HAHAHA.

Okay work aside.

I'm so glad that I finally dragged my ass down to Sino this morning. Best training in months (not that I've been going down much)! My basics all dropped. But I'll slowly get my form back on track; won't quit before achieving something worthy.

Anyway, I came back to training only to find out that Issac has implemented a new rule which everyone really follows strictly. 1 set of frog jumps for every profanity uttered. I swear Issac finds it hilarious to watch people suffer. But yes it's a damn good punishment. My foul mouth caused me 7 sets of frog jumps. DANG TOO VULGUR FOR MY OWN GOOD. NEED TO CUT DOWN MAN.

But at least the president's man enough to jump a few laps with me. HAHA. On another note, I need to start learning how to love the 9-jie-bian. I won't complain (much); nobody said it would be easy. So yes all the way now! But first, I need to stop getting hit by the bian. Not funny ah, getting whacked on your head, face & legs.

The Unexpected

2011-01-21T14:29:00.000+08:00

Been years since I last felt this way.
It's not supposed to be like that.

For those not on Twitter

2011-01-18T18:23:00.002+08:00

Desolated

2011-01-05T12:01:00.001+08:00

So tired of everything. Please let it all end now. The thought of work alone is enough to send me into a depressed mode. Worn out.

Can I have a getaway please?

2011: A Fresh Start

2011-01-01T19:26:00.000+08:00

IT'S 2011! The start of a new decade. Time to put the unhappy past aside & move on in life. Hopefully, it'll be the start of a fruitful journey ahead to reach my goals. I am determined to make the best out of 2011. No more moping around!

In the meantime, I am very much looking forward to the end of IBP. Only 2 more months. Gotta hang in there! Hmm I'm strangely optimistic today. Haha must be the new year spirit.

Last night's BBQ countdown with the OP pals. Here's to the many more years of friendship to come. ♥

Year's End

2010-12-25T17:42:00.001+08:00

Once again, another year has passed by in the blink of an eye. Time flies by so quickly. I daresay 2010 has been a fruitful year in some ways. From experiencing hell out of the worst (and ironically best) internship experience ever in March to meeting David Archuleta in person to the opportunity to intern at the world's first Youth Olympic Games & thereby discovering my dream career and more. The not-so-good memories involve failing badly at IVP & not training hard enough.

All too soon, I will be graduating & moving onto the next chapter of my life. While I am very scared, I look forward to this new chapter with great anticipation, with the hopes that it will be a fantastic journey ahead. There are so many things in store for all of us in our lives.

I don't know if it's just the Christmas air that's making me feel all fuzzy & full of hope. But yes I truly wish 2011 will be a happy & blessed year. The thought of graduation makes me really happy & excited & scared all at the same time. So many things to do, so little time. I need to have faith. :)

Each year, I find myself making a list of new year resolutions that never seem to materialize. But nevertheless, I shall continue. Presenting 2011's resolutions:

- I will lose one dress size.

- I will start working out regularly.

- I will get my driving license.

- I will be more positive & happy.

- I will be less angsty.

- I will guo cekong.

-----

AGM Camp has ended (I say this with a tinge of sadness). But all good things have to come to an end. It was one of the best camps of my life. For the first time in long while, I felt completely stress-free & truly happy.

Love how everyone's smiling so happily here despite being all wet & dirty.

NPWUSHU will be the only thing I'll miss when I graduate. Honestly, joining this team was probably the best decision I made in poly. ♥

Epic game of Truth or Dare (all dares actually) after Christmas gift exchange. What a mad game, from spanking butts to dirty dancing to kissing, all in the name of good fun.

-----

There was also a mini Christmas celebration in the office.

I think it's hard to believe that I'm a mcmer when I'm so different from all of them. I don't club or go for gigs. I'm not interested in keeping up with the latest fashion trends or latest bands or anything like that. Many times, I feel like the wallflower in the sea of people at school. It's so awkward because we're on different wavelengths most of the time. Honestly if not for wushu, I would have lost my sanity long ago.

-----

Cannot wait for IBP to end. Four more external projects before we wrap up for good! Things to look forward to in January: Danzation & HL's birthday.

Happy Christmas people!

Please help to support!

2010-12-17T16:33:00.003+08:00

This is what everyone has been working their asses off for. This is probably the best video we've produced so far. Event commercial for Animax channel! Watch & support okay thank you very much! :)

Nostalgia & Regret

2010-12-05T21:39:00.003+08:00

I really ought to be working on my very overdue interim report. But somehow this post is way more important. I have to pen this down now before my current train of thoughts get disrupted.

---

I just came back from town with my cousins (Brian, Ritchie & Susan) a few hours ago. I brought them there to shop & to basically show them around Orchard Road. It was perhaps a lil awkward since we had nothing much to say to each other. Our conversations were dry & peppered once every half an hour with "So where would you like to go now?" A tad too formal yes, seeing that we're cousins.

It's difficult to hold a proper conversation when I see them once a year. Well, twice if I'm lucky. But I won't blog about that now. The whole point of today's entry revolves around the fact that we used to be the closest of cousins 10 years ago. And I'd nearly forgotten that until someone made a casual remark during lunch.

"Back in those days without Playstation, we used to spend the whole day playing hide & seek." My brother smiled & added, "Remember flower racing?" Everyone chuckled. Someone else continued, "That time we also played in ah gong's car."

Those were the days I looked forward to every Chinese New Year. To the weekend trips back in Batu Pahat. Before technology took over, we were contented with spending the entire day playing in my grandmother's backyard. Simple childish games kept us thoroughly entertained. Even though we only met up twice or thrice a year, we were the closest buddies.

We got up to great mischief each time we met. From sweeping my grandmother's drains in her backyard to plucking her precious bougainvillea flowers for racing purposes in the huge drain outside her house to endless rounds of hide & seek to sharing home made french fries in the backyard.

10 years passed by so fast. I have no idea how we all got through it. The boys are still bonded (lucky for them they had Xbox games as the main catalyst), although perhaps not as close as before. As for me, I get tongue-tied when talking to them. Sometimes I don't know what to say. It feels like we're all casual acquaintances instead. In fact, it is hard to believe that we were once so close.

Two words: back then.

How time flies. I wish we were still as close. I wish we still had endless games to play. But no, time never stops for you to pick up from where you left off. I think it is time I try to make an effort to talk to them.

I don't want to wake up to find out that another 10 years has passed without me trying to change the situation. Even if we never become close buddies again, I want to have at least tried making a difference. But the question now is, how/where do I start?

I am thankful that this bunch of people were a part of my childhood. They make up a big part of my memories of Malaysia. As I grow older, my memories of Malaysia start to dwindle. CNY has now become a mandatory tradition we have to go through. It is no longer something to look forward to. In recent years, I always coop myself up in a corner reading instead of hanging out with my cousins. The boys all have their own lil clique & inside jokes, bonding over soccer matches on TV & Xbox.

And ever since last year when Brian & Co. came over during the Dec holidays, they've become even closer. Last year I was in China during their stay in Singapore. This year, I'm working long hours everyday. Today is the first day I've went out alone with them in years.

See the people in this photo? It's even worse with them. Rebecca & Nina are now in Australia doing their Bachelors. I haven't talked to them in years. Each year we meet once & we exchange two words in total: hi on the first day & bye on the last day.

At least with the ones I talked about before this photo, we still can be considered acquaintances. With these bunch of people in the second photo, we're complete strangers. I have no idea what their full names are or when their birthdays are or anything at all. And yet we call ourselves cousins. Tragic indeed.

Recent Updates / Haji Lane

2010-11-27T19:19:00.001+08:00

IBP LIFE IS SERIOUSLY BLEAK. I know I've repeated myself many times. But honestly, everyday it's a mundane old routine. Work-eat-sleep-work-eat-sleep & the cycle repeats. February cannot come soon enough.

Totally looking forward to AGM camp this coming December. I really pray nothing crops up so that I can claim the one off-day which I am entitled to.

Training wise, I just want to achieve something before giving up this sport for good. Would a CKF be too ambitious? Hmm time will tell I guess. Finally went for training today & it felt good. My stamina = fail. But yes, newfound respect for the newly elected captain.

-----

Finally met up with dear ol' Za last Sunday, which we spent wandering around Haji Lane, Arab Street & Bussorah Street. Love nuah-ing days like these where we both wander around aimlessly, walking into random shops. :)

Haji Lane: I love how the whole place is such an eclectic mix of colours, from graffiti walls to bold crimson pillars against a traditional backdrop of shophouses.

View from Deli Morrocan. All sorts of food along the stretch. Can't wait to try them out.

The main point of the trip was to shop at Haji & try out Deli Morrocan at Bussorah Street. I found decent reviews about this Halal eatery online beforehand. They really need to redo the signboard/look of the shop. Apart from its lacklustre appearance (which is really tragic because most people walked past without even a glance), the food was definitely good.

Two mains for us to share, topped with pita bread.

Some chicken tajine dish with a tomato base.

Mixed grilled kebab with salad.

I'd come back again just for the grilled kebab. Portions were pretty decent. The only disappointment was the pita bread. For some reason, it was tasteless.

Anyway, photo spam ahead. Both of us hate being in front of the camera so it was quite funny actually. I feel somewhat uncomfortable looking directly into the camera because the photos always turn out really shitty. Looking sideways is a good thing. The photos turn out better automatically. LOL.

I love this entire series of pictures. ♥
Colours were adjusted for the vintage feel.

LIFE AS IT IS

2010-11-20T23:08:00.005+08:00

This space is in dire need of updates.

IBP is taking its toll on my sleep. It's a huge chore waking up every morning & dragging myself to work. Cab fares are eating very deeply into my pockets! Nowadays, I keep oversleeping & end up having to cab to work. :/ Good thing is, I'm 40% done with IBP. Only 12 more weeks to go.

One of my four birthday wishes was to be happy. That in turn translates into me being more optimistic. So I shall try to remain positive for as long as I possibly can.

Right. I've officially turned 19. Nothing major this time. Merely headed out for dinner with friends & had a whole lot of fun. The older you get, the less important birthdays become. Nevertheless, I'm still thankful for having a bunch of awesome pals. :) I'm happy having a smaller group of good friends than a large group of acquaintances.

At Clarke Quay with the OP gang after work on Tuesday (that explains the heavy bag pack). We queued up for 1.5 hours at Timbre but eventually gave up. DAMN SAD LA. I wanted to dine at Timbre so badly.

We went to some Moroccan bar/pub along the stretch after dinner. Great cosy ambience away from the crowds; perfect. Just the way I like it. Had a shot for the first time in my life. I expected it to be really bitter (I don't drink) but it turned out to be fantastic. Yay to more sessions like this! :)

Out with the NP team & Sino kids earlier on Sunday. I already told HL not to make a big fuss out of my birthday, plus she told me some of the kids didn't know it was my birthday. So I was genuinely surprised when Shuen Yee & YL produced a cake while we were in the midst of a Twister game.

Flowers from Kathleen. I usually hate receiving flowers but this is an exception. :)

Hmm four birthday wishes isn't too much is it?

-----

In other news, I'm finally on Facebook! Yes I have finally succumbed after years of adamant refusal. I can now officially say this: "Add me on Facebook." HAHAHA. Anyway, people reacted with sheer shock upon receiving my friend requests. My wall was flooded within minutes with disbelief.

I'm still not comfortable with accepting just any friend requests that come along though. So far I've got 30 hidden requests. :/ I'll eventually accept them I guess, just not now.

------

One thing I really want to rant about! DAVID ARCHULETA WAS IN TOWN LAST WEEK & I DIDN'T MANAGE TO GET A PICTURE WITH HIM.

Goddamn it. I was in the freaking media zone WITH media passes & a hugeass HD camera shooting his autograph session at Bugis. I was standing less than 10m away from him the entire time! AND YET I COULDN'T GET A FRIGGIN' PICTURE. OMG.

Sorry about the watermark. Felt a need to protect these stills! These are screenshots from the raw footage we shot of David. DO YOU SEE HOW CLOSE HE WAS TO ME?!

The most annoying thing is that Ben went to shoot the media interview session earlier during the day & he managed to get a picture with David. Now he keeps rubbing it in my face, constantly showing me the picture he took! FML. I WANT A PICTURE SO BAD.

Okay that was the hidden fangirl in me. I've never gone gaga over celebrities & the likes. But I really like David A's songs. PLUS HE'S SO INSANELY CUTE. Way cuter in real life than on TV! So friggin' sad you know. :(

------

On a slightly happier note, I'm meeting Za tomorrow for a Moroccan feast. It's really tough finding nice Halal dining options in Singapore I swear.

A Bittersweet Affair

2010-10-31T23:55:00.005+08:00

TEAM NP: Overall Champions! :)

What an intense mix of conflicting emotions. IVP 2010 is finally over. It was both the saddest & happiest day of the year. Each time I think of yesterday, I don't know whether I should cry (again) or whether to smile & cheer.

NP emerged overall champions for the second year running. As happy as I am that we've maintained our title, my joy is being marred by my own pathetic failures.

The team rightfully earned their medals after all the hard work & effort they put in. I'm super proud of both jiti teams! :) Sorry I didn't have the heart to be all chirpy & happy yesterday during the prize ceremony. Nevertheless, congratulations to all who've achieved medal(s)! Those that didn't win, it's okay - you still have next year!! WELL DONE, TEAM NP! :)

--

I lost really badly. The moment my da ding failed, the moment I felt my body hit the floor... I knew it was over. I won a silver last year. & yet this year, I walked out of the chang di with a third-last placing.

The moment I received my score, I hid in a smelly dirty corner to cry. I think I cried enough to drown myself. What a complete loser I am. People keep telling me it's okay, that there will be other opportunities. They keep telling me to treat it as a good experience. HOW CAN I? IT'S MY FINAL YEAR. I'LL NEVER EVER GET ANOTHER CHANCE TO COMPETE IN IVP.

I don't know how to pick myself up & get over it. It's such a huge thing to me because I've now lost my Colours Award. I've secretly wanted that award ever since I attended JJ's Colours Award ceremony. I've lost my chance to apply for a scholarship. I've lost my last & only chance to win.

This particular defeat hurts like fuck, more than anything else in the world. I've competed before in secondary school & even though I've done much worse in the past, nothing hurts as much in comparison to this.

If I did my best & still lost, I wouldn't be upset. But I screwed up big time & paid dearly for it. If my competitors were strong, my failure would be justified. But my competitors were simply average. And I still fared so fucking badly.

I feel as though I've let Coach down & that I've lost the respect of everyone. My brother tried to comfort me by saying perhaps wushu isn't my thing. He told me since I can't seem to jump or do well, I should try other sports instead. Well maybe I really should just give up on this.

After the ceremony when everyone was going crazy taking photos, Coach put a spare medal on me. At that point, I really truly felt like shit. My eyes teared again. I removed the medal from my neck. What's not yours will never be yours.

Anyway, I'm still thankful for people who stood by me. People who comforted me, people who told me I did okay, people who told me not to give up. Thank you guys.

It feels like crap to be graduating on such a bad note. Bittersweet indeed.

Tranquility from the Unexpected

2010-10-28T00:23:00.001+08:00

Solace can sometimes come from the most unexpected places.

I say this because the only peace I've had today came from being alone in the editing room. This is quite a surprise actually. I've never liked editing much. But for some reason, I felt completely at peace & angst-free when I was left alone inside the room. Strangely, piecing together bits & pieces of footage had a very theraputic effect on me. I like how the utter silence brings me great comfort.

I will hide there again tomorrow. Too many things on my mind these days. I feel very worn out mentally. Been feeling very down & depressed these 2 days. For the first time ever in my life, food doesn't help.

Wish I could put everything down & fly away for a lil while. I'm feeling very suffocated & unhappy at the moment. If only I could run away alone for a week or two. Off to some faraway place when nobody will be able to find me. If only. Alas, if only are two of the most dismal words in life.

ANGST.

-----

Fucking annoyed with some people. Every lil thing has been getting on my nerves these days (especially today). But some people need to realise that people nag for a bloody reason. I don't care how you want to justify your actions. I'm just trying to help. I know I'm far from perfect myself, so perhaps I do not have the right to lecture someone else. But professionalism is there for a fucking reason.

------

Training wise, I feel like the whole world has given up on me. I wish Saturday would never come. :'( There's only so many sorries you can say.

Weekends & Afterthoughts

2010-10-24T22:37:00.007+08:00

You only start to truly appreciate & value weekends after you're stuck with a regular 9-6 job everyday. It's the only time you're really free.

I don't know how people do it - being stuck in a stuffy corporate environment everyday behind a computer, answering phone calls & emails & what-not. Thank god mine isn't all that bad. At least I get to move around & go for shoots. I'd never ever want to be stuck in a smelly old office with a boring 9-5 desk job.

Anyway, speaking of work, do check out the newly revamped CTV website! Bright, cheery & colourful; perks you up instantly! Plus it's super easy to navigate. I'm so proud of it HAHA! I MADE THE MASTHEAD (and did all the text -.-)! The rest was painstakingly put together by Hazirah the Dreamweaver Genius.

This weekend was fruitfully spent. Dragged my lazy ass to Sino on Saturday morning for self-training. Zichar dinner with the family at night. Movie & shopping session with HL today. And now it's Monday all over again. BOO WHY SO FAST. :'(

LOVE MY NEW SHOES ❤

Sometimes I get very bored/tired of shopping in physical brick & mortar stores. Online shopping is so much easier. Plus nothing beats the convenience & thrill of receiving parcels in the mail.

Okay side-tracking already. I wanted to blog about the movie we caught today actually - Life As We Know It. It's your typical hollywood romance comedy with a predictable storyline (which I still enjoyed very much anyway). The one thing that struck me most was actually how Eric eventually decided to give up his career ambitions for the sake of a kid/family.

You just can't have everything your way, can you. It's either family or career. You have to pick one. His dilemma really set me thinking because I dream of working at major international sporting events, doing exactly what Eric did in the movie (director/switcher). It's precisely what I want in life. Flying all over the world, meeting athletes & being a part of major sporting events like the Olympics, SEA Games, etc.

Eric was given the biggest career break ever, the chance to direct a huge game in another state. His decision to fly over to fulfill his ambitions nearly destroyed his family. Eventually he gave everything up to be back with them.

Sorry I think I might just be too selfish to do that. I don't want to be tied down with kids, being forced to take up a regular shitty low-paying desk job & struggling to make ends meet. Imagine never having enough sleep, constantly wondering what would have happened IF I'd decided to pursue my dreams instead. Sorry, I don't want that future scenario at all.

I won't get married & have kids because if I did, it wouldn't be fair for them to have a non-existent mom around. I'm grateful that my own mom was willing to put her children above her career. My mom has always lamented that she wouldn't be earning so little if she'd moved on. She stayed with this job because of its flexible working hours so that she'd have time for us. I appreciate that. She isn't the best mother around obviously, but she can be pretty awesome. ❤

I don't think I can ever be that noble.

Life is short. I think you should try to pursue whatever you want in life because you only have that many years. Being part of major sporting events is one of the things on my bucket list.

对不起

2010-10-20T00:03:00.004+08:00

In 10 days time, I will walk onto the changdi with a heavy heart. Along with it will be a head full of worry, a soul full of regrets, heartache & utmost disappointment.

I'm very sorry for the disappointment I will be causing everyone, especially the coaches. I don't know what I'm doing at training nowadays. With each passing day, whatever that is left of my stamina weakens & my strength diminishes.

My final year; my final chance. & I'm throwing it all away. How sad it is, to be entertaining such thoughts at this juncture. As much as I really do not want to, I have to mentally prepare myself to emerge last (or perhaps second-last or third-last for that matter) yet again.

Realistically Impossible

2010-10-10T18:23:00.006+08:00

Dear Claire,

'What' & 'If' are two words as non-threatening as words can be. But put them together side-by-side & they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life. What if? What if? What if?

I don't know how your story ended but if what you felt then was true love, then it's never too late. If it was true then, why wouldn't it be true now? You need only the courage to follow your heart. I don't know what a love like Juliet's feels like - love to leave loved ones for, love to cross oceans for but I'd like to believe if I ever were to feel it, that I will have the courage to seize it.

And, Claire, if you didn't, I hope one day that you will.

All my love,
Juliet

I love how you get that warm fuzzy feeling after watching a good old-fashioned romance film. As much as I enjoy such films (especially since there's always a happy ending), I can't help but be cynical about life & love. Let's be realistic - no man in the world will suddenly randomly appear in your life & sweep you off your feet the way they all seem to do in movies.

I grew up watching Disney classics; grew up believing in true love & fairy dust & all that. But eventually as you grow older, you are forced to realize that life isn't that simple. All that true love & what-not are nothing but nonsensical fluff.

I really do wish I was a small kid again. That's when you believed in yourself the most; when you thought nothing was beyond your reach as long as you had faith.

-----

I've made it through 2/20 weeks of IBP. In another 18 weeks, mcm will officially end for good! I. CANNOT. WAIT. I still have not decided on my plans after graduation. I still want to head over to Australia very badly. But I'm too much of a coward to go there alone for 3 years. :/ I'll think about it again when the time comes (in a few months actually).

In the meantime, there's only 19 more days to IVP. For some reason, I don't feel scared at all despite not being prepared. The more I train, the more I feel like I'm gonna fail. I still think I'm pretty far off from last year's form. D: I just hope I'm no longer gonna be the bloody cushion, the one that cushions everyone from getting last.

Been getting all sorts of weird bruises lately after trainings. I have no idea how they got onto my body - especially the one on my hip bone below.

The bruise was initially much smaller. Then it sort of 'spread outwards' the next day. Now the reddish part is subsiding & the whole thing's turning yellowish. D:

-----

I permed the bottom half of my hair last weekend. Big mistake I swear. My hair's more damaged than ever. The curls are sorta dying down now ever since I decided to stop maintaining them (I try to blow my hair straight now HAHA).

Hopefully in a month's time, the curls will be more or less gone. Then I can finally go chop off my hair! YES SHORT HAIR HERE I COME.

This is what I want. Yes/no?

-----

Was watching Commonwealth Games (diving) on TV just now & guess what. I SAW GLENN & ROSS OMG. I wish I was there too! This shall serve as a reminder of my goal in life. I want to do TV Sports. :) Zzz all the more I should head to Australia right? Since it's practically impossible to work for the Olympics if I stay put in Singapore. D:

Decisions, decisions.

FEAR

2010-09-21T23:48:00.004+08:00

I'm not ready for this at all. Today is my fourth session since returning. IT'S ALREADY THE FOURTH SESSION. And yet these stupid trivial matters are still getting to me.

I hate pain. Counter-pain is now my constant companion; I can't function properly without it.

Really felt like crying just now. I only have 5 weeks left. And yet I can't even remember my taolu. I have no strength. No xing. No yan shen. No form. No nothing! How the hell am I supposed to go for competition in this pathetic state? I have no idea what I'm doing.

Most of all, I hate the fact that people blindly have faith in me. Can't they see that I cannot meet their expectations? Can't they see that I'm not good at wushu at all? So many years have passed. And look at what I've achieved. NOTHING.

I'm secretly thankful that Zhang JL thinks I have the potential. Really, it's encouraging. But I hate disappointing people over & over again.

Desaru

2010-09-13T23:17:00.009+08:00

Returned from the family's annual Desaru trip last night. I was awfully disappointed this time round.

Firstly, there was just simply TOO MANY PEOPLE. I went there for a breather, to escape from crowds & people in general. I'm never ever going there during public holiday periods again. Madness! In fact my brother met his classmate there -.-

Secondly, the water was tremendously FILTHY. I've been to Desaru 8 times before & I've never seen the water this polluted. There were empty plastic bags & bottles, broken coconut husks, pieces of wood with nails sticking out and drips & drabs of seaweed covered with oil slicks - both on the shore and in the water. Dang can fight with Sentosa's dirty waters already.

Alright filthy water & throngs of people aside...

We stopped by at this seafood place for lunch on the way to the hotel. It's a sleepy little town that has fantastic seafood.

I will blog a bit more about the food this time since I've already written quite a bit on Desaru in previous years. Besides, unlike the beach, the food sure didn't disappoint. :)

My all time favourite: mai pian xia

As usual, the prawns were extremely fresh & succulent. I love the fact that this dish comes with additional bits & pieces of egg yolk along with the usual crispy stuff. The ones I usually find in Singapore do not include egg yolk bits.

Do not underestimate this humble plate of fried rice. It is filled with mouth-watering goodness in every bite! My youngest brother always jokes that they must have put in some drug - you really can't get enough of this! For some strange reason, it actually reminds me of OP's stall 6 chao fan -.-

The mandatory shot of us 3 which my mom takes every year. I compared this to last year's picture - Nicholas grew taller while I expanded sideways. Sianzzz.

Checked in after lunch & headed to the beach immediately as usual. And yes the usual barrage of beach photos ahead.

My fatty brother is just as heavy as me. Sooo hard to piggyback him HAHAHA.

Very amused by this photo because Leonard dunked Nicholas underwater right after this lol.

Haven't kayaked for ages. My arms were aching after only an hour! Damn unfit nowadays I tell you. But it was definitely fun. Love it especially when the current isn't too overwhelming. Btw I never knew my brother had a 2-star certificate until that day lah.

Dinner after all that - no food pictures because I was too hungry.

Breakfast the next morning before heading to the beach again!

Breakfast buffet spread was decent - a good mix of Western & Asian food - but nothing to shout about. Btw the above pictures were what I had for breakfast alone. Shittt I need massive detox session now.

I ate like only half of what my brothers ate! Both of them sat beside me feasting on a mountain of nasi lemak + beehoon + micellaneous sides on their plates. After which, they went to help themselves to omelettes, croissants, etc.

Okay no more beach pictures because we basically do the same thing every year - laze around & rot in the water/sand/pool. We occasionally try to drown each other when bored. Kidding.

Nasi goreng topped with a sunny side, served with otah, chicken wing & crackers

Decided to go a-la-carte for lunch.

Mee mamak - one of the in house cafe's specialities

The foolproof food choice - you cannot go wrong with sandwiches & fries.

After lunch was yet another round at the beach for the boys. My mom & I headed for a massage at the in house spa instead.

Kway teow mamak - fried seafood kway teow that's worth every bit of the overpriced RM20 that was charged for this.

Nick & I opted for a-la-carte dinner while the other 3 went for the BBQ dinner buffet. This fried seafood kway teow is the bomb man. I've been craving for it ever since I came back!

Homemade chocolate mud pie topped with vanilla ice-cream & served with a generous portion of hot chocolate fudge.

The cake was soft & rich, baked to absolute perfection. I think I can survive on the fried kway teow & this alone everyday. Hahaha.

Okay I ran out of food pictures.

Reading at the beach - although you cannot see the book which I'm balancing on my other knee.

I love wriggling my toes in sand while reading a good book :)

Parting shot of the beach at low tide.

Till we meet again next year. Hopefully you won't be as disgusting anymore.

To go or not to go

2010-09-06T00:22:00.004+08:00

Happened to watch HSM3 just now because my brother was watching Disney. A quote I noted from the show: "Better to consider opportunities now than 10 years later when life may limit your opportunities... Trust one's instincts."

3 years = min. SGD 200k

My dad suddenly brought up local universities twice now that I've finally developed the interest/desire to head to Australia. 200k is no small sum to fork out for 3 measly years. All for the sake of a bachelor's degree. If I were filthy rich, I'd go ahead without a doubt. But I'm not. So the question now is, to go or not to go.

I guess going back to Malaysia over the weekend was a good thing. Had a long chat with my aunt & uncle (mom's side) about education in Aussie since their daughter's studying there now. Melbourne is the sporting capital of Australia - perfect place to start if I want to pursue my newly found dream. Just imagine the amount of opportunities there.

But I'm not sure if I'm ready to fly away from home & live on my own for 3 full years. So many worries :( Yet I really don't want to give up the opportunity to study abroad. The experiences gained will definitely be incomparable to being stuck in a local uni. I don't want to wake up 5 years later & slap myself for not going.

My temporary plan (if it ever works out):

May 2011 - Graduate
The rest of 2011 - Pursue whatever sports I want first / Take up freelance projects
Mid February 2012 - Head over to Aussie to settle in
March 2012 - Start school
2015 - Come home first / consider working in Aussie (dunno whether I should come back home to freelance first to build up a credible portfolio or whether I should just take up a job in TV in Aussie upon graduation)

I know many people think going overseas to study is really no big deal. But it is to me. Going overseas ALONE for 3 years is fucking scary. (I dunno how all my smarty pants cousins did it!) Also, if it's not going to bring me any closer to my goal of working at international sporting events, then I won't go. On the other hand, I know I stand practically no chance of heading to Olympics if I stay put in Singapore.

The End of YOG 2010

2010-08-26T23:25:00.013+08:00

I'm extremely thankful to be able to be a part of YOG. Honestly, I couldn't have asked for a better crew to work with. Everyone's just been incredibly nice to us interns. I've learnt so much from this entire experience in a short span of 2 weeks. I was originally given the role of an audio intern but I eventually became a camera assistant instead (something which I'm very grateful for actually!). So relieved that I didn't get stuck with a boring desk job at the IBC.

Diving venue at Toa Payoh

Swimming venue at the Sports School

(pic credits to singapore2010.sg)

We covered swimming, diving & the last day of rhythmic gymnastics.

At an Aussie bar with the whole crew on the last day of work

Being able to work with Glenn was a fantastic experience. He's an Australian with a wacky sense of humour, something which we adapted to pretty quickly I daresay. He's the sort who'd do the silliest things just to get a kick out of it.

During our stint at the swimming venue, he pretended to blow his nose on a piece of tissue paper & used the same piece to wipe his camera lens, much to the horror of 2 other cameramen who saw it. HAHAHAHA.

He's actually invited us to stay over if we ever visit Sydney. :)

My best memory of Nuno: "Maybe your black bag is inside your red bag." Haha sorry, inside joke! XH & I are the only ones who are utterly amused by that. :D

But anyway, Nuno (from Spain btw) has been a great VTM. I'll probably miss him greeting us every morning with "good morning girls! (insert short pause) and boy." He scurries around all day with this perpetually stressed look on his face 24/7. The stressed look only ceases at the end of each day. He also takes great joy in canceling out each day on the schedule that is taped to the wall.

L-R: Matt, Dheva, Xinhua, Me, Paul, Bryan

L-R: Anthony, Nuno, Bryan, Paul, Ross, Matt, Merrin

Matt the Man. According to Glenn, Matt is 'unusual' for an American, because he gets along so well with the Aussie crew. Lol. My best memory of Matt involves seaweed-flavoured Pringles. He thinks it's the weirdest flavour ever & that it smells like dog poop.

Merrin has been awfully sweet to us as well. She even offered to send my details over to a colleague of hers who is based here in Singapore. She's basically in charge of the CG aspect.

And then there's Paul, the youngest dude in the crew (apart from us) at 32. He loves teasing XH and calls her Charlotte all the time just to see her annoyed expression. Pretty hilarious actually haha! He tells shitty jokes though. Qn: Why did the crow fall out of the tree? Ans: Because it was dead. -.- WIN.

It's a pity we didn't get much opportunities to interact with the rest of the crew.

Another good thing is me having found a friend in XH. I'm not sure if this is a mutual feeling lah. :/ But 2 weeks ago, I'd never spoken to her despite being course mates. 2 weeks later (today), I think she's a really nice person. Great as a friend & as a work mate. She's also the only one who understands my obsession with Tim P! :D Haha. Must keep in touch okay.